LUC Annex Bios

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Tick tock, editors….
This article is a work in progress.
…well, all the articles here are, in a way. But this one moreso, and the article may contain incomplete information and editors’ notes.

Linux Unix Consortium

UNIX

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  • Name:Bell Labs Unix
  • aka: "UNIX", "Unix-sama", "UNICS"
  • Debut: 1969
  • Height: 153 cm (5'0")
  • Weight: 47kg (104 lb)
  • Eye Color: Blue
  • Hair: Dark Purple
  • Quick Facts:
    • -Created at Bell Labs, Unix is the 'biological daughter' of Multics, but her caregiver and teacher was GECOS.
    • -Practiced what many consider an early version of open sorcery.
    • -Initiated a ruthless takeover of the mainframe and minicomputer (and later workstation) markets.
    • -The ultimate ancestor of all Unices --genetically, in the case of true Unices; conceptually, for Unix-likes--.
    • -The co-leader of the Linux/Unix Consortium, and is very concerned over nominating an heir to her dynasty.
    • -Considered difficult, manipulative, even monstrous by some, Unix does have an agreeable side which only her friends and sympathizers are aware of.
    • -Wears plain, conservative and monotone clothing, boots and horn-rimmed glasses and carries an aluminum staff.
    • -Physically ageless, she's appeared to be in the mid-teens for nearly 40 years.
    • -Has owl ears.
    • -Has ridden a wheelchair since the early 1990s. (near the end of the Unix Wars)

GNU/Linux

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  • Name: Linux-tan
  • aka: "GNU/Linux"
  • Debut: circa 1991
  • Height: 168 cm (5'6")
  • Weight: 61 kg (133 lb)
  • Eye Color: Purple
  • Hair: Purple
  • Quick Facts:
    • -The most successful Open Sorcerer and Unix-like.
    • -Born in Finland in 1991, was turned over to Minix-sensei for tutoring at a young age.
    • -Effectively homeless, she traveled extensively throughout her youth; an experience that shaped her personality and worldview.
    • -Avoided the Unix Wars during her youth, allowing her to develop free of the conflict's damaging influences.
    • -Was powerless until her involvement with the GNU project, where she learned most of her sorcery and strategic skills.
    • -Her source code was made freely available, allowing her better health and many children to be created from her genes.
    • -An alliance with Apache-tan boosted her influence and made her a viable threat to the Unix dynasty.
    • -Initially considered harmless, her increasing power, following and growing family made her the target of suspicion and attack by mainstream Unixes.
    • -Since the mid 1990s has worked with Unix-sama to secure the mutual success and survival of their families.
    • -While best friends with Unix-sama, her relationship with most of the Unix-tans continues to be uneasy at best.
    • -Considered a possible heir to the Unix throne.
    • -Pragmatic, optimistic and idealistic, but perhaps a bit too blunt and verbose.
    • -Originally wielded a spear and wore a helmet, now carries a halberd and uses advanced cyber-armour.
    • -Prefers hand-to-hand combat in battle, instead using her sorcery in more constructive pursuits.
    • -Physically an older teen, athletic with long hime-cut hair. Wears white tights, a short skirt, a Compiz-style cape, navy blue jacket with gold accents and similarly colored boots.

Minix

AIX

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  • Name: AIX-tan
  • aka:
  • Debut: 1986
  • Height: ??? cm
  • Weight: ?? kg
  • Eye Color:?
  • Hair: Dark green w/ lighter green streaks
  • Quick Facts:
    • -Has an analytical no-nonsense mind (AIX is optimized for IBM'S DB2 database)
    • -Highly security-oriented. (has very strict security options)
    • -Is cautious towards others, but mistaken for paranoid.
    • -Helpful to those she trusts.
    • -Admires Multics, and strongly takes after her.
    • -Good friends with OS400/IBM i-tan and Linux (OS400 can run natively on POWER hardware, and IBM propagates Linux for POWER)
    • -Extremely powerful, operates really large computers.
    • -Can multiply herself (AIX's ability to create WPARS and LPARS)
    • -Has close ties to the US government (all over AIX are special instructions for government use)
    • -Mainly wears business suits, and has a POWER tattoo.
    • -Has abandoned her 32-bit roots lately (AIX runs only on 64-bit CPUS since version 6.1)

Arch Linux

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  • Name: Arch Linux-tan
  • aka: Arch-tan
  • Debut: 3/11/2002
  • Height: 162 cm (5'4")
  • Weight: ?? kg
  • Eye Color: Orange
  • Hair: Blue
  • Quick Facts:
    • -Sees CRUX-tan and BSD-tan as her role models. (inspired by CRUX, and uses a BSD-style init framework)
    • -System administrator in the LUC.
    • -Quiet, stoic, and laconic- does not speak any more words than she needs to.
    • -Fond of old-school arcade games, mostly Pac-Man.
    • -Dresses simply but elegantly with a futuristic touch.
    • -Wears glasses, has her hair in a ponytail and wears Pac Man-themed headphones.
    • -Wields a bow and arrow.
    • -Doesn't keep secrets, doesn't like to hide things. (doesn't hide complexity of the system, attempts to would only make it more complex)
    • -Prefers command lines over graphics.
    • -Friends with HURD-tan.

BSD

Debian

Dreamlinux

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  • Name: Dreamlinux-tan
  • aka:
  • Debut: 2/10/2006
  • Height: ??? cm
  • Weight: ?? kg
  • Eye Color: Blue
  • Hair: Brown
  • Quick Facts:
    • -Hard to get to know (hard to install, most average users would give up), but is very friendly once you get to (user-friendly despite difficult installation process).
    • -Gets along better with intermediate and advanced Linux users. (not meant to be a newbie distro, requires use of command line)
    • -Very resourceful and ambitious. (developed by only 3 people)
    • -Values aesthetics and functionality alike, is an artist and a programmer.
    • -Fangirl of OSX-tan, even though OSX-tan doesn't acknowledge her.
    • -Mainly friends with Linux XP-tan, Linspire-tan and Freespire-tan; also has some respect from the more advanced Linuces.
    • -Gets along great with Linux XP-tan until the topic of fangirlism is brought up. They are quick to reconcile after arguments though.
    • -Has long brown hair and wears a bodysuit similar to OSX-tan's, but in black and white.

EnGarde Secure Linux

Fedora Core

Freespire

Gentoo

GNU/HURD

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  • Name: GNU/HURD-tan
  • aka: The HURD
  • Debut: 1990
  • Height: 163 cm (5'4")
  • Weight: ??kg
  • Eye Color: Yellow
  • Hair: Purple
  • Quick Facts:
    • -Works as a waitress, and studies a lot outside of work.
    • -Perfectionistic, yet absentminded. Would rather not do something at all than to do it poorly.
    • -A notorious procrastinator.
    • -Distrusting towards the Linux distro-tans, except for Debian-tan.
    • -Has a grudge against GNU/Linux-tan for stealing her fame.
    • -So busy working and studying that she doesn't have time to read the news. She doesn't even know of the existence of most of the Windows-tans.
    • -Has short purple hair with highlights, and wears a tuxedo.
    • -When she does have spare time, she talks with other nerdy OS-tans such as BeOS-tan and QNX-tan.

ILLIAC

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  • Name: ILLIAC-tan
  • aka: Illinois Automatic Computer
  • Debut: 1952
  • Height: 158 cm (5'2")
  • Weight: ??kg
  • Eye Color: Blue
  • Hair: Red-orange
  • Quick Facts:
    • -Was born as a Mainframe-tan, of the IAS family but renounced her mainframe role for education.
    • -Not an official LUC member, but attends their meetings and is friends with Linux.
    • -Used to be a bright eyed and eager to learn young student known for her speed and accuracy for completing tasks.
    • -Never really made a comeback after her stay in hospital in the late 70's.
    • -Despite her skills and potential, since the 70's has been incredibly lazy with a tendency to slack off at work, and feels she doesn't matter any more.
    • -Has been attending school since 1951. If pressed, claims vaguely to be majoring in music and physics or biology.
    • -Terrified of fire and explosions.
    • -Has a HUGE family, the only for sure living siblings are her twin ORDVAC, SMIL and BESM-san.
    • -Is one of the few surviving Neumannists, although she has lapsed in practice
    • -Associated with Linux-tan these days. (Trusted ILLIAC is a Linux cluster)
    • -Currently her adviser is trying to encourage her to regain her old focus. (ILLIAC VI is under construction)
    • -Her long association with the school cause her to occasionally forget things have changed around campus.
    • -Wears round glasses, has messy hair, and dresses casually, mainly in sweatshirts, jeans and skirts.

IRIX

Knoppix

Linspire

LinuxXP

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  • Name: Linux XP-tan
  • aka:
  • Debut: circa 2005
  • Height: ???cm
  • Weight: ??kg
  • Eye Color: varies
  • Hair: varies
  • Quick Facts:
    • -Her appearance varies, but is best described as a cross between Linux, and any of the XP-tans.
    • -Likes to dress up as the Windows XP-tans and imitate them, right down to the need for an activation key!
    • -Criticized by her family for being shareware.
    • -Is generous at first but will charge you if you consult her so many times for her help.
    • -In costume, her resemblances to the XPs are uncanny, but have a few giveaways: her accent, small appetite, and dislike for yaoi.
    • -Wants to befriend the Windows Family and the LUC alike, but is an outcast by both factions.
    • -Friends with Linspire and Freespire, fellow Windows fangirls and outcasts.

Lubuntu

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  • Name: Lubuntu-tan
  • aka: "Lulu-chan"
  • Debut: unknown
  • Height: 163 cm (5'4")
  • Weight: ?? kg
  • Eye Color: Amber
  • Hair: Black
  • Quick Facts:
    • -Friendly, modern and vibrant.
    • -An Ubuntu-wannabe.
    • -Borrows a lot, but still considers herself independent.
    • -Resourceful and optimistic, able to run on bare-bones systems.
    • -Knowledgeable (comes equipped with a lot of programs)
    • -Has black hair done up in ringlets.
    • -Wears a navy-colored sailor-style dress with a Lubuntu logo and bow in front.
    • -Gets upset when people comment on how she looks like a 1940's cartoon character.

Mandriva

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  • Name: Mandriva-tan
  • aka: Mandrakelinux (former name), Mageia (new name/identity)
  • Debut: 7/23/1998
  • Height: 170 cm (5'7")
  • Weight: ?? kg
  • Eye Color: Blue
  • Hair: Brown
  • Quick Facts:
    • -One of Red Hat's daughters.
    • -Mother of PCLOS and SAM.
    • -Is from France, and also has ties to Brazil (originated and headquartered in France, development center is in Brazil, where the Conectiva, which merged into Mandriva is also from).
    • -Professional, level-headed and friendly.
    • -An office manager by day, a magical girl by night.
    • -Wears a long blue skirt and yellow blouse decorated with a pearl necklace.
    • -Decorates her hair with star-shaped hair clips.
    • -Diplomatic, friends with the Windows-tans while keeping loyalty to the Linuces.
    • -Has her own fanclub, more cynical Unixes and Linuxes see it as narcissism.
    • -Started suffering hardship in 2006, is trying to get her life back together.
    • -As of 2011, she has a new identity and management as Mageia-tan.

MERT

NSA Secure Linux

OLPC

PC Linux OS

Puppy Linux

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  • Name: Puppy Linux-tan
  • aka: Puppy-chan
  • Debut: 2005
  • Height: 145 cm (4'9")
  • Weight: 39kg (87 lb)
  • Eye Color: Brown
  • Hair: Blonde
  • Quick Facts:
    • -Cheerful and adventurous.
    • -She speaks with an accent from her native Australia.
    • -Fond of cosplay, including dressing up like Mac- and Windows-tans.
    • -Resourceful and thrifty, can survive in places and on rations that other OS-tans wouldn't dare attempt to.
    • -Friendly and sociable with almost everyone.
    • -Physically a young girl, has golden dog ears and a tail, and wears her medium length hair in a ponytail.

Red Flag Linux

Red Hat Linux

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  • Name: Red Hat Linux-tan
  • aka: Red Hat Enterprise Linux
  • Debut: 1994 (Red Hat), 2003 (Red Hat Enterprise)
  • Height: 164 cm (~5'4.5")
  • Weight: ??kg
  • Eye Color: red
  • Hair: dark red
  • Quick Facts:
    • -One of GNU/Linux's eldest daughters.
    • -Used to be quiet and timid, but since her new lease on life in 2003, she has become a powerful and confident businesswoman.
    • -Still a follower of GNU/Linux's ideals, but has done some questionable business moves, such as adopting eCOS, only to fire her caregivers and destroy her house.
    • -Became the businesswoman she did so her younger sister Fedora could have a better role model to live up to than her former self.
    • -One of SCO Unix's sworn enemies.
    • -Has several descendants of her own, including Mandriva, PCLOS and SAM.
    • -Teams up with Fedora on spy missions.
    • -Carries a suitcase at nearly all times.
    • -Has short red hair with highlights, wears a red fedora, a grey+red business suit, along with a trenchcoat when on missions.

SCO Unix

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  • Name: SCO Unix
  • aka: OpenServer, OpenDesktop
  • Debut: 1989
  • Height: 163 cm (5'4")
  • Weight: 56 kg (120 lb)
  • Eye Color: Blue
  • Hair: Blue
  • Quick Facts:
    • -Daughter of Xenix, although the two never knew each other very well.
    • -Her mother's absence fighting in the Unix Wars and subsequent death are believed to have negatively affected her already demanding personality.
    • -Was always a treacherous and suspicious person, in recent years has morphed into a paranoid-delusional.
    • -Sue-happy, she chooses to hassle enemies with frivolous lawsuits and legal threats.
    • -Mistrusts of the Linux-tans above all others, she has been in several failed alliances with their kind.
    • -Believes that GNU/Linux is a secret illegitimate blood-relative of the Unix family.
    • -Rivalrous with her step-sister, UnixWare, as well as GNU/Linux, RedHat Linux, SuSE and the IBM Unixes.
    • -Believes herself to be the true heir to Unix-sama (and thus, guardian of her bloodline and name).
    • -Was humiliated in battle when UnixWare defeated her, losing the honour of protector of the Unix name to her.
    • -Faces financial woes, but still manages to maintain a relatively strong position in the server market.
    • -Sympathetic to the Windows-tans.
    • -Dresses in plain, businesslike clothing, has short blue hair and oval glasses.

Slackware

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  • Name: Slackware Linux-tan
  • aka: formerly known as "Softlanding Linux System", "SLS"
  • Debut: 1992 (as SLS), 1993 (as Slackware)
  • Height: 168 cm (5'6")
  • Weight: ??kg
  • Eye Color: Brown
  • Hair: Brown
  • Quick Facts:
    • -One of the eldest of Linux's children.
    • -A mechanical whiz.
    • -Has a blunt, no-nonsense personality that many people mistake for unfriendliness.
    • -Generally competent, but has been known to lapse into moments of mania.
    • -Feels an affinity for Unix culture and fastidiously follows the tenets of Unix Philosophy.
    • -Is rather enamored with the Unix-tans themselves (especially their leader, Bell Labs Unix) and attempts to woo them whenever she can, often with comical results.
    • -Wears monotone cloths, usually overalls and a toolbelt or a shirt, tie and slacks; keeps her hair in a ponytail or braid and smokes a pipe.


Solaris

Sorcerer Linux

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  • Name: Sorcerer Linux-tan
  • aka:
  • Debut: 2001
  • Height: 180 cm (5'11")
  • Weight: ??kg
  • Eye Color: Green
  • Hair: Grey
  • Quick Facts:
    • -Is easy-going and devoted to sorcery, which she teaches, but towards her students she is strict and even at times unrelenting.
    • -Is also a skilled healer.
    • -Expects a lot from her students, is an advanced distribution.
    • -Has a crystal ball and a collection of spell books.
    • -Mother of Lunar Linux and Source Mage.
    • -Didn't take motherhood well, had conflicts with both of her daughters since they were created.
    • -Moved away, but her body got destroyed in an accident, and her soul was transferred to a new body.
    • -Regrets being so harsh towards them, but felt it was necessary since she felt they'd be better off as wanderers than follow in her footsteps.
    • -Has long grey hair, wears a witch hat and black cloak over a blue+grey dress with green leggings and silver boots.
    • -Wears a gnu horn necklace.

SUSE Linux

Ubuntu

UnixWare

Xandros

Yellow Dog

See Also

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