Why?

[Nichi]

She's a media whore who doesn't care what she's on because she has no sense of standards

[Chocofreak13]

she has no sense of standards because she was raised in the heartland.

[Nichi]

She was raised in the heartland because her parents were Jack and Diane
SUCKING ON A CHILI DOG </john_mellencamp>

[Chocofreak13]

her parents were jack and diane because her grandparents were huge john mellencamp fans.

[Nichi]

Her grandparents were huge John Mellencamp fans because they knew him personally

[Chocofreak13]

they knew him personally because they were groupies.

[Nichi]

They were groupies because they didn't want to join the circus

[Chocofreak13]

they didn't want to join the circus because they didn't like animals.

[Nichi]

They didn't like animals because a leopard ate their cheeseburgers

[Chocofreak13]

A leopard ate their cheeseburgers because it was starving.

[Nichi]

It was starving because the zoo needed a new feeder

[Chocofreak13]

the zoo needed a new feeder because the old one broke in an industrial accident.

[Nichi]

The old one broke in an industrial accident because the walrus was tired of people calling it "Paul"

[Chocofreak13]

The walrus was tired of people calling it Paul because it wasn't the OSC member, Paul.

[Nichi]

It wasn't the OSC member, Paul, because it was Zen
Zen is totally a walrus-panda hybrid -w-