The Incredible OSC Vending machine!

[Smokey]

You get the top sheet of A4 paper from Smokey's printer. It's the one that never gets used and collects all the dust and smudges...Poor heroic thing...

I put in a box containing 2500 pieces of chained A4 paper for dot matrix use...

[Kami-Tux]

You get a dumb terminal, which uses paper to show text.

I put in scissors.

[Smokey]

You get a katana, forged through the original method...

I put in a wetstone...

[Kami-Tux]

You get another CPU benchmarking program

I put in that annoying dog who keeps on barking outside.

[Smokey]

You get Animal Control after you...

I put in a Plutonium rod...

[Kami-Tux]

You get transported back into the future.

I put a thread in.

[Smokey]

You get a cashmere sweater...

I put in the second set of upper front teeth i had, and the (presumably) 5th wisdom tooth i'm getting...

[Kami-Tux]

You get a set of artificial teeth.

I put in a 5 MB FAT12 partition

[Smokey]

You get a 5,25" 10MB harddisk with two 5MB fat12 partitions on it...

I put in a pair of socks...

[Kami-Tux]

You get one of them back and hear a strange chewing sound from the machine... at least this answers one question, doesn't it?

I put in a Ruby book.

[Smokey]

You get a copy of my e-book on the art of Dim-Mak...
(oh god, i hope it's not on my deceased HDD!)

I put in said HDD for diagnosis and repairs...

[Dos]

you get GIR and he teachers you how to dance like a monkey
insert JTHM
-Dos, Meow

[Smokey]

You get IPv6...

I put in UDP

[Kami-Tux]

You get TCP

I put in HTTP

[Smokey]

You get FTP...

I put in IEEE 802.11x...