The lighter side of computers

Bella · April 28, 2007, 10:36:03 PM

I think everyone could use a laugh or two. So I've started a thread where we can post our funny or memorable computer stories! Let me start off with one...

Recently, I found a wallpaper online that said 'I wish I was a Mac', with a Mac "unhappy" face underneath. I decided to post it as on my grandma's computer wallpaper, because she's always complaining about the XP's performance. I posted it...she didn't quite get it, but I explained that Mac is another operating system, and a 'rival' to Windows...anyway, after about a day or so she found it no longer funny...so I set it back to her original wallpaper. Soon afterward she asked about it...

"So Mac is a rival to Windows?"
I replied "Yes."
Then, she said it all seriousness, "That wallpaper didn't come with my computer?"
Me: ;014

Kami-Tux · April 29, 2007, 06:03:19 AM

The term DAU means DÃ¼mmster Anzunehmender User (=dumbest assumable User) and I met my share of them. It's especially funny if they catch you using lynx:

At school, I ws allowed to use a computer for Linux. The reason that thing was chosen was that it was too slow for Windows 98. Fvwm2 ran, but I preferred to use her in textmode. Once our teacher asked us to research something. I used the linux-machine and lynx. While I was browsing, the teacher came to me and asked: "When will your computer be started?" I laughed.

In a youth-center, I once helped them setting up their Linux-server and was allowed to make an account there. So I was able to use it when we were allowed to surf (I had no internet at home at that time). Some dude approached me and started annoying me. My mood was not the best...

SD (some dude): What are you doing there?
KT (Kami-Tux): Surfing
SD: how so. you are not seeing anything there
KT: I do *points to google-homepage*
SD: are you seeing there pictures, I do not see?

Another story:
FFCE (former friend, current enemy) had never money so her 'PC' was the old one of her brother. I really regret not knowing of the competition of running Windows on the lowest possible hardware, because there this system would have reached a high ranking. I think it was even slower than the 'thing' from story one, which did not hinder FFCE from running Windows 98 on it. When she had problems with this thing and I wanted to help her, the 'thing' took ages to load and so I pressed Escape to see what it was doing. On the escape button, FFCE's brother put a sticker: "Start self-destruction!", and FFCE believed it and screamed at me.

Bella · May 01, 2007, 10:42:54 AM

Those are funny, Kami-Tux! There was this other time when, for April Fools' day, I put the M$ Bluescreen of death screensaver on my dad's comp...I told him beforehand that a virus was going around that messed up all the drivers, and could cause BSOD...He bought it, so when I went on the computer to see if it had the "virus" and I put the screensaver on, he totally freaked out!

Then there was when my laptop actually BSODed. I hadn't had the computer for very long, and the BSOD came up...I tell you, I was so scared that there was damage to the computer I wouldn't start it for 9 days (I know...how lame...) finally, I had enough...it was fine...

Kami-Tux · May 01, 2007, 11:49:24 AM

Hehe, I avoided the computer for three days when I was really young because I had a nightmare of it. It involved having to navigate through endless BIOS-menues on a screwed up display (only these weird characters which only existed in DOS for borders and backgrounds were seen).

Another story from these days:
Lil Kami-Tux did her first steps in PASCAL and programmed an EDLIN-ish editor. Little Kami-Tux did not know much English at that time. Also, her TurboPascal in Windows 95's DOS was always rather stable, so she did not save her programs that often. The first test of the routine, which printed a specified line on the screen was done with a textfile in C:\ and the last line. Well, the program said: "SUBSCRIBE WINDOWS" and the Tux, not knowing what subscribe means and that that was the last line of the text-file panicked and switched off the PC. Did I mention the 'not saving' bit?

C-Chan · May 01, 2007, 01:41:34 PM

OMG, this looks like a great thread. ^v^

But where to even start,... although admittedly, I've been on the butt end of such comical computer stories in the past. Oh, how times have changed..... -v-'

CaptBrenden · May 01, 2007, 08:20:40 PM

I had my dad beliving that if you put two CDs face to face they could transmit viruses....

Bella · May 01, 2007, 08:37:42 PM

QuoteI had my dad beliving that if you put two CDs face to face they could transmit viruses....

;019 If this was a competition for, as Kami-Tux calls them, "DAUs", that would take the cake!

Tsubashi · May 02, 2007, 07:51:46 PM

DAUs are quite fun to mess with. I once convinced my entire "Lab group" I could read floppy diskettes with my eyes ^__^

Bella · May 02, 2007, 08:38:35 PM

Ohoho! A challenger appears! I'm not sure if I'm more impressed by CaptBrenden's or Tsubashi's skills at DAU trickery.

I remember when brought our first comp home, we really had no idea about it. My dad bought lots of CD-roms, but he didn't know how to install them....it was a funny scene. My mom and I were messing around on Paint; I exited out, accidently, and we started yelling at each other, "what did you do?" "I didn't do anything!" "What happed to the picture!" Neither of us got the whole...ahem...Windows thing...lol Not to mention my dad's cure-all...if something's wrong, reboot. Crashed? reboot. Missing program? reboot. Ah, the days when all could be cured by a reboot XD

CaptBrenden · May 03, 2007, 12:06:05 AM

The guys I served with in the marines.. tended to be a little below par on computer skills. well really, alot below par. I constantly had to show them how to do the simplest things. I had a buddy ask me once how to copy files from a CD to the desktop and im like:

Me: You click.. stay with me now, and drag... still tracking? and release.

Buddy: ....man your a dick, why do you have to talk down to me?

Me: I donno, why do I?

20 minutes later:

Buddy: hey... could you show me how you did that thing again?

zjhentohlauedy · May 03, 2007, 03:13:24 AM

hehe funny stuff. too bad i have little or no experiences like these, i don't have much to tell..

w00terz · May 08, 2007, 01:03:32 AM

When building my first computer, I somehow put one of the DIMMs in backwards and it started smoking xD

Kami-Tux · May 12, 2007, 07:13:34 AM

Nothing more? Okay, here is a story, I only heard and not experienced myself. I can not guarantee that it is true, but it is very likely:

Ruth had a new shiny SuSE-box (that was at the time when SuSE still was THE user-friendly distro), a friend helper her to set up the things, YaST did not. For some reason however, Ruth was getting weird error-messages. At some point in the trouble-shooting process:
Friend: are you logged in as root?
She misunderstood that because in German root and ruth sound nearly alike:
Her: Yes, I am logged in as ruth

Bella · May 12, 2007, 08:55:54 PM

SuSE...User friendly? O__O Not words I hear together often...

One time my grandmother asked me to make her a Yahoo account instead of her local ISP's account. Soooo, I went onto Yahoo, she gave them all her info, and we got the new email account up and running. I set it as her homepage, and all was well. Until...

Grandma: "Where's my (insert local ISP) email?"
Me: "I thought you wanted Yahoo?"
"Where's my email?"
"but why'd you make me make a Yahoo account?"
Confused stare....
"Fine, I'll set your old homepage back..."
I still don't know why she wanted a Yahoo account. I still can't figure out how she does so well with Firefox.

Further proof that we need an older person's Linux distro...

C-Chan · May 14, 2007, 12:47:48 PM

QuoteSuSE...User friendly? O__O Not words I hear together often...

FYI, SUSE was my very first distros I ever tried. -v-
It was one of the first Novell ones... whether that made a difference I don't know, but in between my sound card not working and my mouse (either PS/2 or USB) not operating and just the extreme BLOAT which was a chore on my poor junk computer,... it's a wonder I didn't crawl back to Windoze and shut the door behind me. -.-

I slowly and surely got the hang of it, but I never really did like SUSE much. It was only after I got hitched to Xubuntu that my interest in Linux really started to take off. ^__^

QuoteFurther proof that we need an older person's Linux distro...

Well, as the old saying goes: "There's no such thing as a free lunch." -v-

The people I talk to are generally incredulous about the notion of "Free as in Beer" software and operating systems, so it's always nice to explain to them the "Catch" about Linux. You can have free software that's excellent and stable, but in return you have to be prepared to "work" for it every once in a while. -v-

Even developing an old folk's Distros would require a bunch of enterprising individuals to get together, design one, and release it to the community for slow and gradual testing until version 1.0 is reached. And for that, I guess the argument can be made that Ubuntu, Mint, MEPIS, PCLinuxOS, Mandriva, Elive, etc. does that already,... we just happen to have caught them in the middle of the "beta testing" phase. ^.^;

We'll see in about 3-5 years how far they get in their goal. -v-

On the other hand, I think a Wii + Internet Access is pretty old-person proof. *hint hint wink wink* ^__~