Topicless thread

[Bella]

I finally got a hold of him, I guess there were internet problems at his house or something. ;^;

I still feel really shitty though and it's driving me nuts, I don't know what to do. It's hard to put into words, even, I'm just so depressed that everyone is doing stuff with their lives, spending time with their boyfriends/girlfriends, making plans for the future, and here I am wondering if my pain will be enough motivation to keep me going through the next n (let's be realistic, nobody knows how long it will take) years of school at a college chosen purely out of convenience and hoping my sadness doesn't completely burn me out in the process, aiming for a career in I-don't-know-what-but-I-hope-it-brings-me-some-happiness-and-enough-money-to-live-with-my-SO-because-I-don't-know-how-I-can-otherwise.

I've always believed in the power of my determination and luck to accomplish anything, but I don't know if it will help me this time and the sense of helplessness is killing me. ><

[Nichi]

@Bella: *hug*
If it makes you feel better, I have to get my shit together and try to confront the parents about my plans to move ASAP, lest I get locked here an additional 2 years

[Chocofreak13]

there's a lot of problems here that i can't fix and can't really comment on anymore since everything's been said and even though we face our own set of issues, i would imagine they're slightly lower on the pain scale than you guys. so instead i'm going to just say nothing more than this.


the supermarket tried to sell me rotten juice the other day.

[Nichi]

That sucks :[

So, the van is gone now. Dad sold it in less than 3 hours after posting it on Craigslist -w-;
The Avenger is now considered mine...although I do still have to pay for it. I just need to get things in order so I can tell dad about my plans to move, and see if we can arrange something so I can still buy the car and then come get it once I settle in.

[alfonso_rd_30]

I still feel really shitty though and it's driving me nuts, I don't know what to do. It's hard to put into words, even, I'm just so depressed that everyone is doing stuff with their lives, spending time with their boyfriends/girlfriends, making plans for the future, and here I am wondering if my pain will be enough motivation to keep me going through the next n (let's be realistic, nobody knows how long it will take) years of school at a college chosen purely out of convenience and hoping my sadness doesn't completely burn me out in the process, aiming for a career in I-don't-know-what-but-I-hope-it-brings-me-some-happiness-and-enough-money-to-live-with-my-SO-because-I-don't-know-how-I-can-otherwise.

I've always believed in the power of my determination and luck to accomplish anything, but I don't know if it will help me this time and the sense of helplessness is killing me. ><

welcome to my world since I left Junior High... Bells... I'm stuck in limbo working on small scale software when I so crave to get those damn kids off their CoD stupor with great fighting games, not just SF IV copy pastes like nowadays...

[Nichi]

^That reminds me, I really should track down another copy of Super Street Fighter II. Loved that game -w-

[Chocofreak13]

i hope i can maintain a good 8 hours a week at the library, since that means i can get back on food stamps. :0

[alfonso_rd_30]

i hope i can maintain a good 8 hours a week at the library, since that means i can get back on food stamps. :0

ouch

[Chocofreak13]

it's not that bad. it'll be worse if i can't get that. if not, i'm gonna have to wait to reapply till i do, or can score another library job (about 3 months out minimum on that one). :\

[Cockleshell]

kari you better do something cool for your 30k post jesus christ

[Bella]

Congrats on the Avenger Pent!

As for moving at least you're working toward your goal, I feel my goal is so nebulous it doesn't really count. Mine is like "something something do well in school get your bachelor's degree in computer science or mathematics or both or something else entirely, then start work on your next degree  ... someplace ... sometime in the future ... so you'll be well educated enough to get a job doing ... something ... somewhere ... but you'll have an advanced STEM degree so hopefully you'll be making a lot whatever it is!" I've basically already decided that I'll never be able to hold down a conventional job because I need constant, around-the-clock mental stimulation, and that something in research/problem solving is the only thing I'd find interesting enough to not go insane from boredom doing. "Pay me to solve puzzles", in other words.

Of course I have to do all this through the fog of my own sadness, anxiety and possibly undiagnosed attention disorder, as well as my nearly-mechanical incapacity for faith or belief in any outcome that can't be reasonably predicted, which means it's all a shot in the dark to me.

[Nichi]

I hope something works out :[

I have a bunch of info stockpiled, but I need to find an opportunity to talk to dad, without mom around, to convince him my plan is solid. At the very least, my savings account is back to where it was at the start of the summer, before I had to put tires on the van.

[Chocofreak13]

@bells: you could try teaching. teachers in this state have to take one class every 3 (?) years to keep their license current, but you could be like me and just constantly take classes. :0

@cocks: don't worry. it'll be alright.

[alfonso_rd_30]

Congrats on the Avenger Pent!

As for moving at least you're working toward your goal, I feel my goal is so nebulous it doesn't really count. Mine is like "something something do well in school get your bachelor's degree in computer science or mathematics or both or something else entirely, then start work on your next degree  ... someplace ... sometime in the future ... so you'll be well educated enough to get a job doing ... something ... somewhere ... but you'll have an advanced STEM degree so hopefully you'll be making a lot whatever it is!" I've basically already decided that I'll never be able to hold down a conventional job because I need constant, around-the-clock mental stimulation, and that something in research/problem solving is the only thing I'd find interesting enough to not go insane from boredom doing. "Pay me to solve puzzles", in other words.

Of course I have to do all this through the fog of my own sadness, anxiety and possibly undiagnosed attention disorder, as well as my nearly-mechanical incapacity for faith or belief in any outcome that can't be reasonably predicted, which means it's all a shot in the dark to me.

whatever you choose bells I'm sure you'll get to it...  and I'll be praying for you every day as I pray for myself and hopefully in a decade we'll be on the paths we wanted....

in the meanwhile:

Fact that EVERYONE Must Know

1. in this world (8-4) there are at least 5 people willing to Die for you out of luv
2. the only reason someone can hate you is because you are what they strive for
3. A smile from you can bring happiness to anyone. Doesn't matter if (s)he doesn't know you / doesn't like you.
4. Every night someone thinks about you...
5. For someone you mean the world.
6. you're Like the OS-Tans (Special featuring Unique.)
7. hen you think you've made them biggest mistake of your life, something good will surely come from it.
8. as long as you think you won't get something, you won't get it. if you think you'll get something, it'll come sooner or later.
9. Always remember the praise you get... ignore the bad treatments.
10. If you have a Special someone, Always let him/her know your feelings... you'll feel so much better after he/she knows about it...
11. if you have a great friend, take time to let him/her know how great He/she is.

[Chocofreak13]

12. On Average, Humans are kind of Assholes.