Topicless thread

[Cockleshell]

i voluntarily have no memory from before the time i turned 16

it's a dark, dangerous time that i have repressed, but has yet molded me into the person i am today, someone who is supposed to be a responsible adult and yet somehow fails to do so

[Nichi]

TBH, if I was still like I was 10 years ago, I think I'd be universally hated by everyone on this site :\

I mean, I still had some of the same interests I do now, and was starting to have questions about the world around me (Things I overheard from my parents were contradicting what I was seeing on the news and online; especially when it came to Bush), but I was homophobic (I was genuinely afraid of gay people; thinking coming into contact with one will cause me to "catch the gay")...which resulted in a struggle over my identity (I enjoyed wearing dresses and such, and was starting to get back into that after dropping it around '99 or so, but I was raised in an environment where I felt like I was a freak for doing it. It took several years for me to come to terms with it and be comfortable with myself)

[Chocofreak13]

it's good that you did. ;^;

@cocks: i can relate on some level to you since i remember little of my childhood likely due to it being blocked out. also i fail at responsible adulting too, and i'm older than you, so don't worry, we all suck at it. at least i know how to file taxes, though i never have. >>;

[LeaflameSD]

buying an iPhone 4 on eBay for £12 (locked to iCloud and has a slightly cracked back cover)

[Goujer (she/her)]

But the iPhone 4 is discontinued and wont get iOS 9...
I also have no idea how much £12 is... but if it's around $12 go for it!
I bought two Roombas off of eBay for $60 and they both work too, I have the cleanest floor in my house!

[LeaflameSD]

well fuck me up the ass, some douchebag just sniped me at the last minute >>;

[Chocofreak13]

augh! that sucks, bro. ;^;

@lego: maybe so, but iOS7 is still capable of most tasks and the model still has some longevity. i still have one.

[Bella]

TBH, if I was still like I was 10 years ago, I think I'd be universally hated by everyone on this site :\

Funny story, about 10 years ago I was a member of another forum devoted to model horses (itself a pretty serious collecting and artistic hobby something akin to model railroading in terms of intensity and cost), I was a pretty stereotypical Obnoxious Kid who got into Internet Fights with people who disagreed with me, made superfluous new topics for any damn thing that crossed my mind, and generally managed to be not very well liked by a whole lot of people (although I did have a few friends - probably the ones who realized I was just a kid). Somehow I think I would have fared better here but it still would have been pretty cringe-y.

also i fail at responsible adulting too, and i'm older than you, so don't worry, we all suck at it.

Kari, dude, at least you're living with your BF and sort of have job prospects. Meanwhile I'm basically an overgrown high schooler in terms of being told by everyone that "school should be your job" (not that I object to this - there's no way I could juggle classes and a [non-campus] job [though I'm going to try to get part-time work on campus, at the library or IT center or doing tutoring]). Because of this I have like no possibility of living on my own in the foreseeable future.

I'm also in a long-running process of resigning myself to the fact I may never live with my SO and finding ways to distract myself from the unyielding background pain of being separated from him, which tends to be mostly trying to make myself as detached from my emotions as possible and becoming jaded at an ever-widening segment of the population, which can't be healthy. I also try to dedicate myself to my work but I still have to constantly battle sadness so I don't know if I'm as productive as I could be. There's also my habit of forming attachments to fictional characters and my hope that someday sentient companionship robots will be a thing so I can have some chance of having a normal physical relationship with ... something, which is like top-tier creepy hikikomori behavior.

Tbh I anticipate being a crazy cat lady at 30, except with computers instead of cats.

[Cockleshell]

don't read this, this is my bottled up hyperactive thoughts vomited onto a post

i wholeheartedly emphasize with everything you've said bella, most (if not all, barring 2 people that lasted maybe a month each) of my relationships have been long distance, becoming accustomed to that really changes a person in their core. i find physical relationships to be.... almost unnecessary now. you don't need to be close, why must you be close all the time? (begin existential rant) (end existential rant)

basically, i need to Shut My Emotions In A Little Locker And Get This Money And Higher Education

but i am stopped by the fact that i'm an attention-seeking whore on tumblr, and the fact that i have an addictive personality does not help.

i value what Does Me Good later in life over what can Do Me Good in the present. this is why i'm tossing myself headfirst into a really rough major and disciplining myself out of this tailend of anime shitlord stage into an Evolved form of Driven Passion

[Nichi]

@Bella: Sounds like me when I was younger. Except, I was like 12 and would start fights over any petty thing :\

As for my situation...I'm hoping I can move out before the end of the year. As it stands, I live in a very unhealthy environment, where I have to keep a lot of what makes me who I am under wraps, for my own personal safety; to be completely blunt about it, I don't see myself living to be 30 if I'm stuck in this situation for much longer. I mean, I did have some ambition to go to school, but given my life situation, it's best I first and foremost get out of this place before I crack.

[Chocofreak13]

@bells: hah, you think i'm living with Steve? the only way that's going to happen is either i get a job and he gets a better job and we get an apartment (good end) or october rolls around and i store my stuff 2 hours away and begin crashing in his room while frantically searching for work (bad end).

as of right now i have no solid idea of when i'm going to get back into college, IF i get back into college. i don't know if Massart has a time limit on when i can transfer, and if there is and i miss the deadline, 2 and a half years of college go into the toilet. if that happens i have no idea what i'm going to do with my life. i can't even scrounge up $50 for the application fee. and one of my major college pieces is basically destroyed, with no record of it left. and even if i DO get back into college i'm gonna have to scrimp and save and fight tooth and nail just to stay in due to cost.

i've been threatened with being kicked out before. i don't feel the slightest bit safe at home, and when i leave, i always worry i'm going to come back to all my stuff being gone. i'm saddled with a 5-can-a-day soda habit because i started using the caffeine to battle the depression, and ended up becoming addicted to it to the tune of actually going into withdrawl if i go more than a day without it. i don't even want to mention some of the shit i saw as a kid. almost every job i've ever applied to has rejected me. and i spent the better part of 7+ years trying to be with someone who treated me like trash.


i don't want to get into a whining match since all of our lives suck in different ways. at the end of the day all we can do is be there for each other. i feel bad about you not being able to see Stew, but then, you get to go to college. we're all gonna think the other has it better if we focus on the things we don't have.

[Nichi]

Basically, let's just eat donuts and talk about Steven Universe or Vinesauce or something :3

[Chocofreak13]

i'm eating Baby Donuts. whole-grain Baby Donuts. actually they're Cheerios, i lied.

[Nichi]

I just had a muffin, since I can't get out to obtain donuts -w-

[Cockleshell]

DID SOMEONE SAY MAC-TANS



IM HERE FOR THIS