Cooking

[Tsubashi]

As I've been reading the Member Introduction Thread, I've realized that there are quite a few international members! IRL, when a I meet a friend from far away, one of my favorite things to do is to swap meals! It's fun to learn how to cook foreign foods!

Unfortunately, not many of us could make/deliver food to everyone on the forum, so maybe we can swap recipes instead!

I'll start, with Tuna Melts

Ingredients
1 Celery rib, chopped
1/2 an Apple, chopped
336 g White tuna (2 6-oz cans)
45 ml Mayonnaise (3 Tbsp.)
4 sandwich rolls
4 Slices of Colby cheese

Directions
Wash and clean Celery and Apple.
Drain water from the Tuna.
Mix Tuna, Mayonaise, Celery and Apple
Spread mixture on the bottom of sandwich roll and put the cheese on top of it.
Put the top of the roll on and bake at 170â„Æ' (338℉) for about 5-10 minutes. Makes 4 sandwiches.
Goes well with Apples and Celery with Peanut Butter

[Myrdin]

Cooking is somewhat enjoyable for me.
One easy thing I like is rawrsted brussels sprouts. You need:

-More than no Brussels Sprouts
-Seasonings. Salt and pepper is sufficient but creativity is not bad.
-Olive oil. The oily kind. Sometimes I add flavourful oils like walnut or sesame.

You make them this way:
-Preheat your oven really hot. Like, over 9000 or 400F/205C.
-Clean the b-sprouts like they should be and put them in a bag.
-Put the oil and seasonings in the bag, too.
-SHAKE IT! SHAKE IT DEAD!
-Put the composition on a oven-safe tray, like a cookie sheet with a lip or a car hood.
-Poke them. Poke them every 6 minutes or so. This isn't a NIST certification. Just make sure they don't get incinerated on one side.
-In roughly 30-45 minutes the spuddle green orbs will be dark dark brown. Let them cool for a bit and then eat them.

All ovens are lame so be prepared to adjust the heat.

[NejinOniwa]

Cooking is goodssu, because you make good stuffssu!
Here's what I usually feast on during februaryssu:


Shrovetide Buns
(warning: This recipe contains excessive amounts of baking. If you are afraid of gooey stuff like dough, run away immediately.)

Ingredients:
100g butter
5 dl milk
50 g yeast (fresh, NOT dry)
2Ã,½ dl cottage cheese
1 teaspoon salt (or a bit less)
2 teaspoons cardamom (or a bit more)
1Ã,½ dl sugar
2 l wheat flour
2 eggs

Melt the butter, add the milk and heat up to body temperature. Crumble the yeast in a bucket and add the milk/butter. Stir until the yeast has dissolved. Add salt, cottage cheese, cardamom, sugar, eggs and most of the flour. Work the dough heavily until it feels good. Ferment beneath cover for approx. 30 minutes, and put the oven on 250 degrees (C). Knead the dough on a floured surface and make it into round, even buns (with this recipe around 18-20 or so). Put them on baking sheets (w. b. paper) and ferment for another 20 minutes. Finally, put them in the oven for 5-7 minutes.

When you've made the buns themselves, you've cleared most of the recipe. As one usually bakes quite much you can just put the ones you won't use in the fridge, so you'll have stuff until next timessu.

The buns are to be prepared as shortly before serving as possible - don't mind making people wait a bit just because you started late - it's worth it.
You start off with whipping some cream. Make quite much or very little, it's up to you - everyone's got different taste when it comes to the proportions.
Cleave the bread buns in two, but not in half - the upper half (the "lid") should be made as thin as possible. Then, using a spoon, you hollow out the bottom half as much as possible without breaking it - I usually go by 1-2 cm "wall" and 0.5-1 cm "floor". Then you take the hollowed-out bread and mix it with some almond paste - i recommend proportions to be between 1 bread 2 almond to 1 bread 3 almond, but do as you like - and knead it until it's roughly even. You then pour a small amount of milk into the mix, and knead it some more - or use a spoon if you don't like to get icky hands   .
Anyways, when you're done with the filling - and it should have a consistence like a good leaven - put it into the hollow-outs of the buns (a good slab in every bun, mind you). You then slap on some cream on each bun - and finally, finish it by putting on the "lid" and putting a layer of powdered sugar on it (i usually have some powdered sugar on the cream as well). Serve quickly, either plain on a dessert plate or in a bowl with a bit of milk.

Worth to note is that they in fact ARE good enough to be eaten just like buns, without cream or anything, but then people might get angry at you for being selfishssu.

[Myrdin]

I seldom have the time or patience for lengthly prep work so here's a relatively quick baked good. They are delicious. They are known as seven layer bars.

INGREDIENTS
-1/2 cup unsalted butter
-1 1/2 cups graham cracker crumbs
The following portions can be adjusted for personal preference:
-2 cups chocolate/butterscotch/etc chips. Use two or more kinds.
-1 cup chopped walnuts
-1 (14 ounce) can sweetened condensed milk
-1 1/3 cups shredded coconut

DIRECTIONS
1. Preheat oven to 350 F (180 C).
2. Put butter in 13x9" pan and melt in oven. Coat bottom and sides with butter.
3. Spread crumbs evenly over bottom of pan. Layer chocolate/butterscotch/etc chips, and nuts over crumbs. Pour condensed milk over nuts. Sprinkle coconut over condensed milk.
4. Bake until edges are gold/brown, about 25 minutes.

[Tsubashi]

Sugoi! These are great ideas! I'm going to go try them!
But first, another recipe!

Apple Pie


Pie Crust

Ingredients
280   g flour
140   g vegetable shortening
75 to 90   ml cold water
5   ml salt (1 teaspoon)

Directions
Try not to over-blend the flour and shortening, handle the dough as little as possible, and use the minimum amount of water necessary to get the dough hold together.

Stir together flour and salt in a mixing bowl.
Cut in the shortening with a pastry blender until chunks are about the size of small peas.
Sprinkle in the water a spoonful at a time, tossing with a fork and pushing the moistened dough aside between each spoonful.
Continue until all the flour is moistened.
Form half of the dough into a ball, and roll into a 30 cm diameter circle on a floured pastry board.
Line the pie plate and trim the pastry back to the edge of the plate. Set the rest aside for the top.

Pie Filling

Ingredients
1 to 1.1 kg apples (about 6)
100 g sugar
15 ml cornstarch (1 tablespoon)
2.5 ml cinnamon (1/2 teaspoon)
0.5 ml salt (1/8 teaspoon)
0.5 ml nutmeg (1/8 teaspoon)
25 g butter (unsalted)

Directions
Preheat oven to 220°C (425°F).
Peel and core the apples, then slice thinly.
Combine the sugar, cornstarch, salt, cinnamon, and nutmeg, then pour over the apples. Toss the apples gently to coat them.
Pour apples into the bottom pie shell, and dot with butter. Sprinkle with fresh lemon juice if desired.
roll out the remaining half of the dough as before. Cover the pie, and trim the pastry to 1 or 2 cm from the edge of the plate. Fold the extra pastry under and flute the edges. Slit the top to let the steam out,
Sprinkle top crust with sugar. Cover edges with aluminum foil and bake for 10 minutes, then reduce heat to 180°C (350°F) for 30 to 40 minutes more. Remove foil about half way through cooking. If oven does not heat evenly, turn the pie about half way through baking.

[Tsubashi]

oh wow! Been a bit since I posted here.
Nonetheless, I shall continue with:

Veggie Pasta Salad!

Ingredients

240 ml (8 ounces) pasta
1 carrot, thinly sliced
300 grams (2 cups) broccoli
112 grams (1/4 pound) green beans, cut into small peace
1 red pepper, chopped
2 small zucchini, chopped
45 ml (3 tbsp) sesame oil
5 ml (1 tsp) ground ginger
2 garlic cloves
45 ml (3 tbsp) soy sauce
15 ml (1 tbsp) rice vinegar
3 green onions, chopped Sesame seeds
125 g (1 cup) bean sprouts

You can add whatever veggies that you like too.

Directions

Cook pasta in salted water for about 4 minutes. Add carrots, broccoli cook 2 minutes more. Add green beans bell pepper and zucchini. Cook 4 minutes more or until the veggies are tender but not mush. Drain and set aside.

Mix together in a small skillet sesame oil add ginger garlic cook 2 minutes remove from heat stir soy sauce rice vinegar and green onions. Pour over pasta. Place bean sprouts and sesame seeds over the pasta and serve.

[NejinOniwa]

Wha...?
Mi scusi, Tsubashi, but why does a vampire make a veggie meal? That just totally not makes sense... >_<

[Tsubashi]

Ah, mmm... I guess that would require explanation.

This month is my "Vegetarian" month. absolutely no human blood for all of april. This necessitates eating good, nutritional human meals.
Unfortunately, I didn't plan on my awakening, and, subsequentially, my ability to process food has decreased significantly. -.-'
Which means I'll most likely be quite hungry, come the end of the month ^^'

Anyways, now for:

Chocolate Truffles

Ingredients
250   g fine dark (semi-sweet) chocolate
30   ml milk (2 tablespoons)
2   egg yolks
75   g butter
60   g cocoa powder
about 15   ml vanilla extract. for flavoring


Directions
Melt the chocolate with the milk in a double boiler. Remove from heat when smooth. Add the egg yolks while stirring, then add the butter in small pieces. Add the vanilla if desired. Work the mixture for 2 or 3 minutes. Refrigerate for 4 to 5 hours.

Roll the dough a spoonful at a time in the cocoa powder. Store in the refrigerator, but allow to warm up slightly before serving.

[C-Chan]

Yay!!  i'm going to contribute too!  ^v^

Barkin' for Brownies

Ingredients
   1 1/4 lbs Beef liver or chicken liver
   2 C Wheat germ
   2 T Whole wheat flour
   1 C Cooked barley
   2 Whole eggs
   3 T Peanut butter
   1 Clove garlic
   1 T Olive oil
   1 t Salt (optional)

Directions
   Pre heat oven to 350.

   Liquify liver and garlic clove in a blender, when its smooth add eggs and peanut butter. Blend till smooth.

   In separate mixing bowl combine wheat germ, whole wheat flour, and cooked Barley. Add processed liver mixture, olive oil and salt. Mix well.

   spread mixture in a greased 9x9 baking dish. Bake for 20 minutes or till done.

   When cool cut into pieces that accommodate your doggies......

,
.
.
.
.

Aw crap, that's a dog treat recipe.... ^^;

So sue me,... no one makes pig treat recipes, so I've got to improvise you know..... -v-'

Oh, and WHO THE HECK feeds their dogs garlic?!!!  I've got to have a chat with whoever it was that wrote that.... O__o

[NewYinzer]

I've Got A Few Recipes:

Uncle Jimbo's Old-Fashioned Poison Gas
1 Carton Bleach
1 Carton Ammonia

Directions:
Mix Well

Fried Laptop
1 Laptop (MacBooks take twice as long to cook, so don't try)
1 Bottle of A-1 Sauce
1000 Bread Crumbs

Sprinkle Bread Crumbs on laptop. Then douse laptop thoroughly in A-1 Sauce. Preheat oven to 360 degrees. After waiting about 20 minutes, turn on the laptop and put it in. Watch as it melts, sparking, setting on fire and releasing battery chemicals.

Of course this is a joke...DON'T ACTUALLY TRY THIS!

[C-Chan]

Too late,... you owe me a new oven.  -v-

*passes out from noctious fumes*

[NejinOniwa]

Oh! Oh! I just happen to have a recipe on a very delylicious piggy meal here, and he's just lying there unconscious! Hmmhmmmssu...plottidy plottidy plot...
*C-Chan GET!*


And now for the meal!

BOM's Norwegian Piggy-stuffed Salmon
INGREDIENTS:
1 unconscious Black Pig
3 bottles of Moe sauce
1 Norwegian flag
13 random greens
1 oversized Norwegian Salmon (big enough to fit the pig inside)
basilica
pesto
salt n' stuff

DIRECTIONS:

Preheat the oven to 250 degrees. Salt n' pepper the pig and top it off with some basilica. Then shove the unconscious black pig into the mouth of the salmon real good, until its snout is all that remains visible. Put in an oven-safe bowl and smear lots of pesto and Moe sauce on the salmon, top off with some salt and basilica. Fill the rest of the bowl with the 13 random greens and sauce them. Then you cover the bowl with the Norwegian flag, and place it in the oven until the flag is gone. Best served with potatoes and a chilly glass of gin n' tonic.

[Tsubashi]

No, no NO! As OP, I deny you the right to cook Senpai in this thread.
So There!


Instead, let's make some nice:

Piggy Treat Conglomeration!!!

Ingredients
Equal Amounts of:
  Cheerios
  Bite size shredded wheat
  Air popped popcorn

Directions

Mix.
Yeah, most pigs aren't really picky.

[C-Chan]

*shakes off pesto, though not before licking some*

Wow.... Am I really that shallow?  '____'

.
.
.

Ehhh,... works for me.... ^__^


*stuffs face with Tsubashi's Piggy Treats*  ^v^

[HaddenIV]

this is an amazing recipy for biscuits that I have been using for years to make biscuits and gravy or it makes an execlent top for a pot pie type dish or any of a number of things.

Biscuits

2 C sifted flour

1 T baking powder

1/2 t salt

1/4 C shortening

2/3 - 3/4 C milk



Cut shortening into dry ingredients till it makes coarse crumbs.  Add milk all at once and stir with fork till dough follows fork around bowl.  Turn dough onto lightly floured surface and knead 10 - 12 strokes.  Roll or pat dough to 1/2" thickness and cut with floured cookie cutter.  Bake on ungreased baking sheet 12 -15 minutes in 450' oven.  Enjoy!