Strange Quotes

[CaptBrenden]

I long for death not because I seek peace, but because I seek war eternal.

[NejinOniwa]

-We need to talk.
-The last time we talked, mister Smith, you reduced me to tears. I promise it will not happen again.

I totally don't get it, but the song is so damn pure awesomeness so i decided to put it here...

[CaptBrenden]

If you want peace, prepare for war

[NewYinzer]

You're damned if you do, you're damned if you don't!

[CaptBrenden]

women.. cant live with them, cant eat without them

[Tsubashi]

Quoth the Raven "Nevermore"

[CaptBrenden]

I know it dosent make sence.. not much makes sence any more...  You killed me.    I didnt like THAT.

Paxton Fettal in his first appearance in F.E.A.R. Extraction Point

shit.

Myself, just after he said that.

[Tsubashi]

That game was too gory for me, personally.

Quoth the Server, 404!

[CaptBrenden]

you can turn the gore off -_- too gory for a vampire.. what kind of vampire are you?!

Ask not the name of the enemy.  Ask not his will, or his method.  Ask not to speak his thoughts, and ask not to speak his words.  Ask only for the strength to kill him.

-The Imperial Infantrymans uplifting primer (addendem spiritual) 97-14

[Tsubashi]

A clean one!
Besides, Vampires don't need to like gore, it's not like we mutilate our food!

Yesterday I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got in my pajamas I don't know.

[CaptBrenden]

The enemy of my enemy dies next

-Lord Solar Macharius "Maxims of the Eminent"

[Tsubashi]

If you're ever in doubt, throw a pepper in the air. If it fails to come down, you have gone mad, so don't trust in anything.

[CaptBrenden]

Though I walk through the valley of the shadow of daemon, I shall fear nothing, for I am what the daemon fears.

-Grand Master Mandulis of the Grey Knights

[Laevatein]

As a special edition... while this technically isn't a short quote per se, it is too hilarious NOT to post here:

This post humbly presents a selected list of the Chapters of the Adeptus Asahina. These Chapters of the Space Moérines were part of the First Founding when the God Emperor herself walked among the air waves.

The basic gene-seed of all the Space Moérines can be said to be originate from that of the Imperial Boobs chapter founded when the God Emperor discovered the original prototype gene-seed specimen in the world of North High. Following the induction, numerous experiments were undertaken to enhance Moérine abilities; other Chapters often tease the Imperial Boobs for being ‘basic’ or ‘economy’ but the Boobies (as they are affectionately nicknamed) remain fiercely proud of the characteristics that attracted the attentions of the God Emperor and which are shared by each and every individual Space Moérine: the ability to travel back and forth in time, the oxymoron that is non-DFC loliciousness, a scaredy cat puppy dog demeanour that has caused entire worlds to submit to Imperial rule with a mere ‘ano~~’ and skirt pull. Recalcitrants who have refused Imperial rule have met the moé might of the Adeptus Asahina on the field only to find that themselves collapsing from massive nasal blood loss, their bones and innards liquefied or spontaneously combust from the sheer moé overload. The heraldry of the Imperial Boobs feature a thick blue stripe with a thin brown one on a field of white.


Among the first adaptions made by the God Emperor resulted in the founding of the Bunny Angels. They are also known as the Flyer Bearers as they were first deployed by the God Emperor to preach the Imperial Word via printed flyers. Besides having considerable fire arms training, the Bunny Angels are also gifted with the Lyman’s Ear implant which gives them excellent aural situational awareness. The Bunny Angels crest is a red head band with bunny ears on a field of black fishnet pattern. The Custodes Asahina, the fearsome guardians of the Golden Throne where the corporeal body of the God Emperor resides, employ a detachment of specially selected Bunny Angels but in a brown and black colour scheme and bear the Imperial orange head ribbon. It is also rumoured that the personal guard of the Fabricator General of Mars have deployed a similar design but in white and light grey.

Among the founding chapters, the Meido Angels are among the most favoured of the God Emperor and enjoyed the longest tenure of duties at the Imperial SOS HQ. The Meido Angels are said to be able to turn the plainest water into the finest green teas and the mere anticipation of a sip of this heavenly nectar has been known to drive entire regiments of the SOS Brigade Imperial Guard into a fanatical fighting frenzy. The Meido Angels fly a banner with a frilly white meido handband centred on a field of deep blue.

The Miaoist faction of the Administratum Main Office has argued for centuries in favour of founding a new Chapter of Nekomimi Meido Space Moérines but it has been stymied by fears that either it will work too well and the SOS Imperium will be destroyed by the sheer amount of moé energy created or by conservatives who argue that the sacred cosplay patterns laid by the God Emperor must not be tampered with.

The Nurse Angels were shown Imperial favour with a spell of service at Imperial SOS HQ while the Meido Angels were rotated on Laundry duty. They also won glory during the initial phase of the Yakyu War when the God Emperor thrust this Chapter forth to secure a foothold on the training fields prior to the actual battle with the Eldar warband, the Kimagahara Pirates. Despite their name, garb and crest of a winged syringe against a pink background, the Nurse Angels do not actually provide any form of medical support to the great SOS Crusades but cater to an important moé fetish demographic and has gained the God Emperor’s assent as an essential part of the SOS Imperium’s repetorie.

While most of the Space Moérines are deployed as the first line in the SOS Imperium’s moé might, the Cheer Leaders serve their function in rallying the SOS Brigade Imperial Guards. Distracting the enemy and urging on the Guardsmen with moves and chants coached by the God Emperor herself, the presence of the Cheer Leaders gives an instant lift to the spirits and elsewheres of the common soldiery. They saw particularly distinguished service in the initial phases of the Yakyu War against the Kamigahara Pirates, where with Bloomer Power and Adeptus Mechanicus support, they even engaged and scored several crucial victories. Their standard are a pair of yellow pom-poms on two thick bars, one of sky blue and another of white.

The Ultramoérines are unusual because their design was not created by the God Emperor but is still regarded as a Chapter of the First Founding and enjoys considerable popularity among the fan workers of the SOS Imperium hive worlds and manufacturing hubs. It is not entirely clear who is responsible for the meido-waitress costume design; there are records of the high praise of it from Colonel Commissar Kyon of the founding SOS Brigade, the North High First- and-Only, favoured dog soldier Guardsman of the God Emperor, but the Colonel Commissar has also been recorded as praising anything related to the Adeptus Asahina, sometimes to the point of nearly causing the Restricted Spaces of the Warped that the God Emperor struggles mightily against for the sake of the universe.

In addition, the Ultramoérines can call upon auxiliary support forces including Tsuruya Regiments; they have been particularly effective at suppressing tithe and tax revolts on various Imperial worlds, the dazzled miscreants immediately repent, emptying their pockets and surrendering their wallets, after being confronted by the Ultramoérines armed with cheap fried soba on soggy paper plates and a free flow of tapwater. The Ultramoérine crest is a large thin red bow ribbon on a patch of blue against white.

Most of the Space Moérines get the ‘Space’ part of their epithet from transversing the stars in their defence of the SOS Imperium or claiming new territories for the glory of the God Emperor. The Pink Sailors are the only permanently ship-borne Chapter. Although limited in combat effectiveness due to their relatively low firepower and a endemic presence of the Hibiki Ryouga virus in their navigation guidance systems, the Pink Sailors are a vital element for the rest of the Imperial Navy, due to their dedication to logistics and courageous resupply runs. Even so, they also joined in dealing the killing blow to the Command Fleet of at the battle to conquer the Segmentum Computerclubis. Pink pocka dots against grey gun metal is their emblem which covers all Pink Sailor vessels.




The Combat Waitresses were a special Chapter created by the God Emperor not only for warfighting conquest but also to wins the hearts, minds and, occasionally, livers of the unconverted. Although the Bunny Angels also appeared in the Great Moving Pict ultra-directed by the God Emperor, the Combat Waitresses were founded specifically to play a lead role in The Adventures of the Adeptus Asahina, a key work and text studied diligently as an advanced text by all SOS Imperials who hold officer ranks in the SOS Brigades or Division II and above status in the civilian bureaucracies and religious orders. The DVD itself is used to judge who is worthy of serving the God Emperor’s cause in these higher capacities; a sure indicator of an above-average intellect is the ability to quick grasp the sheer genius and irony of TAotAA: the ‘mistakes’ in the cinematography are reproduced in animation, a high art form which does not naturally produce these ‘mistakes’ with creative intervention by an Ultra-Director channelling the powers of the KyoAni gods.

While the propaganda power of the Combat Waitresses is praised and lauded, their fighting power is not to be under-estimated. They practice the Two Hands technique of firing twin pistols simultaneously, combining John Woo cool with BB moé. But most potent of all is the deadly Mikuru Beam which can destroy entire armies or worlds with simply a blink of an eye and the sniffles accompanying the cry of ‘MI-MI-MIKURU-BEAMU!!’ The emblem of the Combat Waitresses is a lightning bolt leaping from a single eye against a pair of crossed handguns set above a tray serving a beverage.

Relatively rare are the aquatic Kero Guard who specialize in amphibious and underwater operations. When fully deployed in their armoured frog suits, much of the shapely figure and loli-looks of the Adeptus Asahina are obscured, making this Chapter a less popular one among the fandom of the God Emperor’s cult.

Nonetheless this Chapter was also founded by the hand of the God Emperor herself and features in the omake and even some covers of the sacred moving pict text The Adventures of the Adeptus Asahina. The maintenance of these powered water-capable suits have received the personal attention of the God Emperor with Colonel Commissar Kyon’s North High First-and-Only providing Imperial Guards transport and escort to and fro the Dry Cleaning Docks.

It is rumoured that the Kero Guard also have a special talent for building gunpla and making moving pict homages to the God Emperor using a painstaking series of stills to replay key scenes of SOS Imperial history against the aural recording. The Kero Guard is represented by a stylised green frog’s head and a pair of webbed feet.

The most mysterious of the Adeptus Asahina are the Future Angels. It is whispered that even the omniscient and omnipotent God Emperor herself is not aware of their appearance in the period of the First Founding. There is extensive debate within Imperial Intelligence circles regarding the time paradox of whether the whole foundation of the Adeptus Asahina depended on the Future Angels sending the original Imperial Boobs proto-gene-type to the past so that the God Emperor would notice her and thus found the Adeptus Asahina. The opposing view is that the Future Angels would not even exist in the future, and thus could not have done anything, if the God Emperor had not founded the Adeptus Asahina in the first place. Whatever the resolution of this time paradox may be, it is indisputable that the Future Angels have appeared in the present to pass vital pieces of intelligence or perform other interventions that have saved the SOS Imperium from catastrophe.

For some, like the Zylean group within the Imperial Commissariat, the Future Angels represent the ultimate fulfillment of the potential spotted by and the development into Oneesama-type which was set into motion by the God Emperor. Others are aghast that the Adeptus Asahina would evolve to a point that its Space Moérines would lose their loli characteristics. The sign of the Future Angels is the most plain: two conjoined circles with thin black borders and a five pointed star on the ten o’clock position of the right circle.

Like the Pink Sailors and Cheer Leaders, the Imouto Angels are a Chapter *not* reowned for their direct combat deployments. During the Lone Island Crusade, the Chapter was mostly trapped in a delirium until the God Emperor’s Great Detective powers defeated the Mystery. Their most noted role has been in the raising of (younger) sister units of SOS Brigade Imperial Guard regiments; as a nurturing and training cadre, the Imouto Angels are unsurpassed in getting Kyon’s Sister to eat their greens, be a positive role model and thus groom little sisters to better serve the God Emperor’s cause.

However the Imouto Angels have also been at the centre of the Stripeysian Heresy which speculates that, like the speculation surrounding the origins of the Future Angels, the Imouto Angels are only looking after their past selves to ensure their proper founding and establishment in the good books of the (older) brother Guard regiments. After an initial burst of activity, the heresy has more or less flared out and the Shima-Shima Tanuki has turned his worship to the glory that is St Nagato-chi of the Adeptus Mechanicus though it is rumoured that he belongs to the DFC faction of Yukiism rather than the Strong and Silent faction. The crest of the Imouto Angels is simply the character ‘imouto’ (妹) against the opened zipper of a blue bag.

For reasons of space, there have been several other Chapters within the First Founding and all those beyond (particularly from the MEGAMI foundings) that this post has not discussed. Loyal servants of the God Emperor and the SOS Imperium are kindly invited to contribute further such epistles at the Comments altar or at their own blogs of SOS devotion.

With the moé might of the Adeptus Asahina, may we have the unyielding strength to keep the God Emperor’s SOS Imperium ascendant as we await Her Second Coming!

[NejinOniwa]

Allrighty folks, i just found the BEST THING EVER over at urban dictionary...

4.     yaoi

1. Y-A-ma nashi O-chi nashi I-mi nashi - translated: no climax, no point, no meaning.

2. Yamete! Atashi no Oshiri Itai! translated: Stop it! My butt hurts!

So true and wrong it's totally hilarious. ^_^