Strange Quotes

[Laevatein]

Got any strange quotes (or quotable quotes) that you've seen today?

Here's one I found:

Optimus Prime could stroll down the street today, declaring that he needs help to defeat an alien menace, and MILLIONS of men age 25-30 would grab whatever they could and follow him into battle without question. ~Anonymous

;013

[Exa]

Facts:

1. Mikos are mammals.

2. Mikos drink tea ALL the time.

3. The purpose of the miko is to flip out and seal evil.

o_o

[Laevatein]

Software and cathedrals are much the same - first we build them, then we pray.

[Kami-Tux]

Software is like sex, it's best when it's free!

attributed to Linus Torvalds

Prior art is as effective as US soldiers in Iraq: They control the ground they stand on, and nothing more. I used to say Vietnam, but, well, you know...
--  Richard Stallman


Only wimps use tape backup: _real_ men just upload their important stuff on ftp, and let the rest of the world mirror it
-- Linus Torvalds

My personal opinion of Mach is not very high. Frankly, it's a piece of crap. It contains all the design mistakes you can make, and even managed to make up a few of its own.
-- Linus Torvalds

[NewYinzer]

A series of quotes that Washington D.C. Mayor Marion Barry probably said:

   * "The contagious people of Washington have stood firm against diversity during this long period of increment weather."

   * "I promise you a police car on every sidewalk."

   * "If you take out the killings, Washington actually has a very very low crime rate."

   * "First, it was not a strip bar, it was an erotic club. And second,what can I say? I'm a night owl."

   * "Bitch set me up."

   * "I am clearly more popular than Reagan. I am in my third term. Where's Reagan? Gone after two! Defeated by George Bush and Michael Dukakis no less."

   * "The laws in this city are clearly racist. All laws are racist. The law of gravity is racist."

   * "I am making this trip to Africa because Washington is an international city, just like Tokyo, Nigeria or Israel. As mayor, I am an international symbol. Can you deny that to Africa?"

   * "People have criticized me because my security detail is larger than the president's. But you must ask yourself: are there more people who want to kill me than who want to kill the president? I can assure you there are."

   * "The brave men who died in Vietnam, more than 100% of which were Black, were the ultimate sacrifice."

   * "I read a funny story about how the Republicans freed the slaves.The Republicans are the ones who created slavery by law in the 1600s. Abraham Lincoln freed the slaves and he was not a Republican."

   * "What right does Congress have to go around making laws just because they deem it necessary?"

   * "People blame me because these water mains break, but I ask you, if the water mains didn't break, would it be my responsibility to fix them then? WOULD IT!?!"

   * "I am a great mayor; I am an upstanding Christian man; I am an intelligent man; I am a deeply educated man; I am a humble man."

[Laevatein]

^ Now THAT is the most arrogant person I've ever seen ^^;;;;;

"When someone strays from the path of mankind, you hit that person to correct them." -- Jamil Neate

[Tsubashi]

Until I was 13, I thought my name was 'Shut Up.'

Parents are the last people on earth who ought to have children.

[NewYinzer]

"Trying to eliminate Saddam .. would have incurred incalculable human and political costs. Apprehending him was probably impossible ... We would have been forced to occupy Baghdad and, in effect, rule Iraq ...there was no viable "exit strategy" we could see, violating another of our principles. Furthermore, we had been self-consciously trying to set a pattern for handling aggression in the post-Cold War world. Going in and occupying Iraq, thus unilaterally exceeding the United Nations' mandate, would have destroyed the precedent of international response to aggression that we hoped to establish. Had we gone the invasion route, the United States could conceivably still be an occupying power in a bitterly hostile land."

- George Bush -  President of the United States 1989-1993

[Exa]

so what happens if 2 sadists start dating? they will go mortal kombat on the bed?

o_o

[CaptBrenden]

I have two speeds, if you dont like this one your sure as hell arnt gonna like the other one!

my dads favorite saying

[Stoy]

"The fact that we live at the bottom of a deep gravity well, on the surface of a gas covered planet going around a nuclear fireball 90 million miles away and think this to be normal is obviously some indication of how skewed our perspective tends to be."

"I think a nerd is a person who uses the telephone to talk to other people about telephones. And a computer nerd therefore is somebody who uses a computer in order to use a computer."

"[The World Wide Web is] the only thing I know of whose shortened form ââ,¬â€ www ââ,¬â€ takes three times longer to say than what it's short for"

"Technology is a word that describes something that doesn't work yet."

"The idea that Bill Gates has appeared like a knight in shining armour to lead all customers out of a mire of technological chaos neatly ignores the fact that it was he who, by peddling second-rate technology, led them into it in the first place."

"I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they go by"

All of the above comes from Douglas Adams
------------------------------------------------------------

"Basil Fawlty was an easy character for me. For some reason, portraying a mean uptight incompetent bully comes naturally to me"

"If I had not gone into Monty Python, I probably would have stuck to my original plan to graduate and become a chartered accountant, perhaps a barrister lawyer, and gotten a nice house in the suburbs, with a nice wife and kids, and gotten a country club membership, and then I would have killed myself."

"Technology frightens me to death. It's designed by engineers to impress other engineers, and they always come with instruction booklets that are written by engineers for other engineers - which is why almost no technology ever works"

"If God did not intend for us to eat animals, then why did he make them out of meat?"

And here was some from John Cleese

(Quotes found on wikiquote)

[Laevatein]

-I never understood why people like loli/underage crap. They got no curves. It's like fapping to a plank of wood

"Opinions are like butts, little girl. Everyone's got one and nobody thinks their's stink."

[CaptBrenden]

"If God did not intend for us to eat animals, then why did he make them out of meat?"

see C-Chan, this guy agrees with me

[Laevatein]

XD

'Nobody goes to a movie on the first day, too many lines.'

[panithan]

Don't spend $2 to dry-clean a shirt. Donate it to the Salvation Army instead. They'll clean it and put it on a hanger. Next morning buy it back for 75 cents.--Billiam Coronel

The statistic on sanity are that one out of every four Americans is suffering from some form of mental illness. Think of your three best friends. If they're okay, then it's you.--Rita Mae Brown

Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-proof programs, and the Universe trying to produce bigger and better idiots. So far, the Universe is winning.--Rich Cook

When I give a lecture, I accept that people look at their watches, but what I do not tolerate is when they look at it and raise it to their ear to find out if it stopped.--Marcel Achard

He who laughs last has not yet heard the bad news.--Bertolt Brecht

You have to stay in shape. My grandmother, she started walking five miles a day when she was 60. She's 97 today and we don't know where the hell she is.--Ellen DeGeneres

Some people talk in their sleep. Lecturers talk while other people sleep.--Albert Camus

Have you ever noticed? Anybody going slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac.--George Carlin

Journalism consists largely I saying "Lord Jones died" to people who never knew Lord Jones was alive.--G.K.Chesterton

If it weren't for electricity we'd all be watching television by candlelight.--George Gobel

I'm not into working out. My philosophy: No pain, no pain.--Carol Leifer

The imaginary friends I had as a kid dropped me because their friends thought I didn't exist.--Aaron Machado

It was such a lovely day I thought it's a pity to get up.--W. Somerset Maugham

I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it.--Groucho Marx

I cannot be bought.. but I can be rented.--Don O'Shaughnessy

He ended the job as he began it; fired with enthusiasm.--Don O'Shaughnessy

Bad artists copy. Great artists steal.--Picasso

from
http://www.allfunnypictures.com/jokes/Quotes/Detailed/615.html