Stupid Questions With STUPIDER answers

[NejinOniwa]

Yosh! It's time to introduce a new forum game to this place!

This is, not really, but could be explained as, a more free version of the "What Could You Do If"-game, but as it isn't, it will be explained as this.

Poster A posts a stupid question. And yes, I mean seriously stupid. Also you are allowed to steal ideas and material, make up fake laws of physics, make up identities, Summon Bahamut, and everything from anywhere you like, as long as you make is non-sensible enough. Like for example,
What happens if you mix three liters of gasoline with fifty-seven and a half bottles of cola, drink half of it, pour a third of it out and turn the rest on fire?


Then Poster B answers with something EVEN STUPIDER, preferably made up of nothing but uncyclopedia-bad LIES and stupid assumptions in common, and finishes off with another question for continuance. Something like this maybe:
In accordance to Newton's seventy-third and somewhat disturbing law (If you do something that is more insane than writing fake laws of physics, absolutely anything can happen) , your stomach will do the limbo dance for exactly 0.242149 seconds and then explode. This will produce chain reactions within the gaso-cola and make the remains of three asploded chickens and half an oyster appear on your neighbor's doorstep.
If you however mix the gasoline with cola LIGHT, whatever container you use to mix them with asplode out of pure misery, become an evil spirit, eat your soul and THEN materialize on your neighbor's doorstep as a GIANT asploded three-headed chicken and a very talkative alien vacuum cleaner salesman.

In which unit is insanity measured?

And so on. Note that there sometimes can be rather dull questions: This craves that the answers are damn good. Just because it's a boring and uninspiring question doesn't mean you can't make a stupider answer to it, ya'know. The point is not to make any sense at all but rather to make everyone laugh crepes out their tonsils...or something...Now go away.


Question nambaa one!

How many kilograms of mistletoe does it take to summon the reindeer version of XP-tan while high on catnip?

[Kami-Tux]

Zou üould need exactly pi kilograms however this implies hacking reality to circumvent the "pixels" (planck-units) of reality, so you better just program her into the code of the matrix.

When will the Tuxegg, which is earth break and a gigantic tux hatch?

[Aurora Borealis]

That will happen when aliens from the planet Floogledoogle-87 land on earth offering cheddar cheese and soylent green to the people and lead the masses to dance around the egg blindfolded and doing the numa numa dance while covered in honey and permafrost!

What is the most effective design for a power generator that runs on farts and obnoxious perfume?

[NejinOniwa]

That would be the OSIBPM, Obsessively Spinning Infinite Bean Protocol Machine, which relies on a computer protocol that fools it into believing that it possesses an infinite amount of beans. As beans are the essence of farts, and obsessive spinning is able to turn almost anything into almost anything else (and that includes the Beans => Obnoxious Perfume process), a doubly infinite amount of obnoxious perfume and farts will be materialized within the machine, thus driving the horny beaver in the wheelchair CRAZY and rolling on like MAD, thus powering the turbines of the power generator.





What is the name of the second-most important virtue of stupid mortal men?

[Xyanide]

"things-that-go-boom"
all men love this...and that wasn't really a stupid trippy question in the first place lol

what would you get when you grind a CD to powder, then mix it with some ground coffee and tea leaves, make tea out of the mixture and serve it in a mental institution on a tuesday while proclaiming you are the backwards-man

[Kami-Tux]

The patients would after a horrible process with a 76% mortality rate turn into ME-tans if you used a Windows ME-CD, into 2k-tans if you used a Win2k CD, into fuzzy little rabbits if you used an Office CD in any version and into a Kami-Tux if you used a Linux-CD. Now ask me why I am Kami-Tux

How can you accelerate a throwing pie to 2c?

[Aurora Borealis]

I like this thread! ;010

You alter the space time continium by finding the module that controls the whole thing, type in "stinky moose 7", let out a belch, click the kitten on the screensaver and clap your hands to unlock the computer! Throw a pie and it will accelerate to 2c!

If I dropped a barrel of possums into a river of gelatin and ran on all fours like a cat while imitating the Incredible Hulk, what is the probability the possums will sprout wings and turn into robotic overlords and take over humanity?

[NejinOniwa]

1 to 2^267779 against. That is, by the way, the exact same probability as of the one of being picked up by a bypassing spaceship within 30 seconds when you are floating in the vacuum of space.






Is there any number high enough to measure the depression of Marvin?

[Aurora Borealis]

There has to be! I mean, the highest possible number is infinity which goes on forever! However you're going to need one heck of a powerful calculator and supercomputer to measure Marvin's depression! Unfortuneatly the only computer and calculator powerful enough are owned by the government on the top secret moon base-- oh wait! It's not top secret anymore! But they still won't let you in though. Sorry.

What is best recipe to make a souffle involving purple cheese, ice cream and habanero sauce?

[NewYinzer]

Put the ice cream in the microwave until it changes color, then put it into the blender with purple cheese and habanero sauce. Blend well for about two minutes. Then put it into a metal Jello mold and put in the stove for about 30 minutes. Take a bite - but very slowly!

What should you do if a Vogon reads poetry to you so that you will not die?

[Aurora Borealis]

You put your left foot in, your put your left foot out, you grab a trout... and smack somebody's brains out! Follow up with drinking half a bottle of minty mouthwash until you turn Super Saiyan and start cursing at owls!

Explain how it is possible to make a jetpack out of a lead pipe, birdseed, a rubber chicken, a jug full of Kool-Aid and a hampster.

[NejinOniwa]

(Note: This solution requires additional equipment; A fishing rod.)
You first take the lead pipe and shove it up the hampster's urethra. Then you grab a fishing pole, hook the rubber chicken, fasten the fishing rod in the ground with cement, surround the chicken with birdseed and start making gawking noises. That will very quickly summon the frightened chickens of EGON, a couple of minutes later followed by EGON itself. This is where you'll need to be fast; EGON will start doing obscene things to the chickens, and then you take the chance and pour almost all of the Kool-Aid through the lead pipe, and feed the remaining drops to the hampster the other way (note: for best results these two things should be done simultaneously). This will make the hampster go all CRAYZEH and start whining things like "OVER NINE THOUSAND!!!" repeatedly, which will attract the attention of EGON, who will then seek to do obscene things to the hampster as well. But unfortunately since the hampster has a lead pipe stuck up his urethra, things will be a bit hard for EGON, and so it will try sticking to the lead pipe and do obscene things through it. The evil vacuum created by the Kool-Aid will then suck it into the lead pipe and trap him inside. High on Kool-Aid vapors it will start screaming "OOH YEAH!!!", creating a resonance from the "OVER NINE THOUSAND!!!" from the hampster, and it will start blowing out BURNING Kool-Aid. This will make the construction fly, so if you're just fast enough to jump on the lead pipe in time, you'll be able to use it as a jetpack...

...until you run into snakes on a plane and DIE.






Does this forum actually support the Anal Rights Violation Act, signed by hordes of fangirls/fanboys all over the multiverse?

[Megaman Z]

hell if I know, although it would explain some of the recent arrests I've heard about. one of them involved sticking a computer tower up someone's.... er... nevermind.



yellow pill or green pill?

[Kami-Tux]

Aspirin, if you have it! if not, please the green since green means mysticality... or was it moxie?

How many MEtans does it take to change a lightbulb?

[Exa]

It doesn't matter, they just crash the lightbulb and they're all freeze.

What happens if you combine the genes of a Haruhi fanboy and a World of Warcraft fanatic?