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[winduko]

I hate hate hate when people say that being queer is a choice.

That literally goes against everything the LGBTQ+ movement stands for.

Like, try as I might, I won't ever want to have sex with anyone. Therefore, I am asexual. While I am not disgusted with fictional sex in the slightest (at worst, finding it pointless), I am incredibly sex-repulsed IRL.

Hell, my gender is a mess because of my morals. I identify as a girl because I personally feel that if I identify with a non-binary gender, I am "choosing" my gender, and going against my morals severely. I never really feel physical dysphoria, but I do feel what could be described as mental dysphoria, and find myself questioning my gender often.

I really do not care what genders other people identify as, because I understand the questioning of gender and how hard it is. I will respect it without question, with exception given to blatant trolls.

[Nichi]

@Kari: I LOL'd at the pun -w-;

@Bella: There's one blog I had to unfollow on Tumblr, just because the owner of it suddenly began to flood it with that sort of BS. I subscribed for the funny Rooster Teeth GIFs they originally posted, not to see endless "death to all whites \ men \ cis \ etc." posts >_>;;

@Duko: Indeed; I hate that notion that being anything other than cisgendered and heterosexual is a choice. I mean, generally it's not something you can decide in the same way as deciding between buying strawberries or grapes at the store, but is instead something one discovers about themselves; some discovering it more quickly than others.

It took me a while to come to terms with my own identity; given I was raised in an environment where being physically male but enjoying wearing traditionally feminine clothing is seen as "wrong", so I spent years of my life feeling like there was something "wrong" with me, until in early-to-mid 2011, when I finally found people who supported me (see: Kari, Bella, others on this site), allowing me to come to terms with my identity and feel more comfortable about myself (I still have my moments, given I'm not in the healthiest environment to fully explore myself, but knowing I have close friends whom will support me regardless of the outcome is comforting).

[Chocofreak13]

i think the easiest way to come to terms with something like that might be to declare yourself agender. i suppose i'm a chick, but i don't give it much thought other than "huh, guess i got tits". the concept of having children seems romanticized to me and i like the idea of naming them and raising them and all that nice stuff, but the actual mechanics of it and the anatomy angle just squiggs me the fuck out. i used to dread seeing the doctor until i realized that my doctor seemed to be chill with my ignoring the bits and pieces i was given. when it comes to doing [censored] or anything like [censored] it's as if a portion of my brain shuts off, allowing me to be uninhibited, but for the most part the mere thought of what comes with being female disturbs me.

combine that with almost a lack of awareness of what are "women things" and what are "men things" and you have someone who reeeeally doesn't care about their gender. hence, agender. :0

[Nichi]

I personally just settled for genderqueer; it's more general and to-the-point -w-
(Sometimes I think maybe I'm trans, but I'm honestly not in a safe enough environment to explore the possibility right now, although I will say I do feel more confident in my appearance thanks to my fake boobs)

[Chocofreak13]

you may be trans. but it's something better figured out when you get here, amongst trans people. they might be able to help you figure it out. :0

[Bella]

From what I can gather the majority of people aren't completely comfortable with their body, genitals and secondary sexual characteristics included. I mean, I've never heard a woman get pumped up over menstruation or childbirth or going to the gyno, because those things are fucking awful (especially childbirth — maybe just a fucking nuisance in the case of menstruation or gynos) and you'd have to be either deep into second-wave, new-age, female body-mysticism, a sadist or slightly brain damaged to WANT to experience any of those things. It's not as severe or universal, but I've also heard a lot of busty women express annoyance at the work large breasts entail. From dudes I've heard irritation over facial hair/hair removal and having to deal with dangly bits that get in the way of walking and sitting and overheating when it's hot out. I'd say that's a statically-average human experience.

From what I've gathered, being trans (I'm using this as a catch-all here: either trans with intent of SRS, non-op trans, or nonbinary/genderqueer) comes into play when a person experiences body dysphoria or the need to be pass as a member of the opposite/no/other gender. I've heard trans people write about feeling although they can't look at their body in a mirror or think about the fact they have the wrong "parts" for their body because they legitimately feel as though they should have boobs/vagina/penis/a flat chest/no sexual characteristics and having the wrong parts is agonizing. There are non-op trans people too, but even they generally want to pass for their gender — i.e. they may want to keep the genitals they were born with, but they want to be treated as the gender they identify with. From what I've read, I'd say both are valid expressions of trans identities.

Then there are people who outright reject traditional gender classifications for social reasons, not due to body dysphoria or a need to socially "pass" as something other than their DSAB. I'd argue the majority of tumblry types who claim to be xyzgender and use xy/xyz/xyzself pronouns fall into this category. Even though they like to protest that they're REAL TRANS, I'd argue they actually fall into the range of genderfuck/gender-bending, which is a legitimate thing and may have some overlap with transgender, but isn't the same thing. In fact it's insulting to equate the two, since one involves a conscious decision and the other stems from biological causes.

Then there are people who outright reject the idea of gender being a thing — which I think is stupid on a society-wide level, but I have adopted for myself. (My gender isn't relevant, I have a DFAB body and I'm okay with it.)

[Nichi]

Interesting. In my case, I sometimes think of what I have "down there" as resembling a genetic mutation :\

[Chocofreak13]

you could very well be trans, then. :0

@bells: i say agender for myself because i've thought (on multiple occasions) that being smooth as a GI Joe would be convenient. :0

[winduko]

mmmm

I am DFAB, but I naturally grow facial hair. I would love to have my own beard, but my parents don't want their daughter to have a beard. I don't want to change my body, but my parents do want me to change my body.

I want my body to express itself naturally, but I feel forced into a female box because I am DFAB. Not sure if that is body dysphoria, since that is how my body naturally is, but now that I think about it, it could be, as my parents are forcing it to go another way.

Also, I am prone to forgetting that my genitalia even exist. I have legitimately forgotten that I am on my period.

[Krizonar]

There are non-op trans people too, but even they generally want to pass for their gender — i.e. they may want to keep the genitals they were born with, but they want to be treated as the gender they identify with.

I suppose now is as good a time as ever to say that I generally prefer to be regarded as and identify as the female gender when possible.

Now that that awkwardness is out of the way... thank you.

I-I don't want to make a big fuss, baka, I just thought I would finally say it.

[Nichi]

@Kriz: So...does that make us sisters? :3

[Krizonar]

@Kriz: So...does that make us sisters? :3

I don't believe we are related, though. (that would be a longshot!)

I feel so awkward now after saying this about myself, as I don't particularly like revealing personal information. I'll just go make cookies or something. Sorry to intrude in the topic.

[Nichi]

@Kriz: It's alright; I mean, I used to be the same way

[Chocofreak13]

@kriz: *brofist*
@kodomo: idk if it can be considered body dysphoria given the choice is thrust upon you. but who knows. also when you go off to college you can sport an awesome beard. -w-

[NejinOniwa]

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