Relationships

[Chocofreak13]

that's likely due to the fact that one can never FULLY understand another person, simply because one has not lived through the exact same experiences. the closest you will ever come is a set of twins. :\

[Nichi]

True that. I find some men baffle me just as much, if not more than, some women -w-;

[Cockleshell]

Years of love have been forgot, in the hatred of a minute.

[Chocofreak13]

Years of love have been forgot, in the hatred of a minute.

this really describes how i've felt sometimes. :\

[Bella]

Quoted from my twitter:

Women, no matter much research is conducted man will never understand.

Pretty much how I've felt on the issue these past couple of days

that's likely due to the fact that one can never FULLY understand another person, simply because one has not lived through the exact same experiences. the closest you will ever come is a set of twins. :\

Once again, I agree with Kari on this point. It's not a gender thing (although women and men are generally socialized to behave in different ways, so that may contribute), it's a communication problem inherent in every relationship (be it familial, romantic, friendship, etc.). Don't feel badly about not completely understanding someone.

That being said ...

I don't mean to sound flippant or oversimplify what's going on (since I don't even know what's going on), but if you're confused or upset or angry about somebody acting a certain way or saying a certain thing, why not ask them? Of course, this isn't always appropriate, but if you have a standing relationship with a person you should be able to talk openly when confusion arises or feelings are hurt. I'm not the best at doing this, in all honesty - it takes some guts - but it can clear up confusion and unnecessary worry.

[Nichi]

Indeed. I mean, I've yet to so much as go on a date, and I know that generally it's best to try and talk to the person in question if something is bothering you

[Chocofreak13]

as i told russell one time, when he asked me if it was okay to date his ex's best friend:

"Well, have you asked her?"

(turns out he didn't even think of that.)

[Dr. Kraus]

Welp the fucking sting hurts for a good couple hours after figuring out that the girl you thought you were dating wasn't actually dating you, stops talking to you for a good couple weeks, talks again because she thinks you hated her, restart from square one giving her another chance because you gave up on her for a while, notice somethings are not lining up in converstations and some just don't flow anymore.

Decide to lay down the law and just say what is needed to be said.

Have following conversation:

>Me: I like you still even with the stuff you pulled the last couple of weeks and I want you to know that, just don't play with my feelings. I put them out there for you to respond to them not so you could play with them. I don't think you are the kind of person to do that but letting you know this is so we both understand what's going on, its a form of trust.
>Her: Look I'm not going to play with your feelings. I'm just not ready for a relationship right now, so I'm sorry if that's what you want but I don't.
>Me: That's all I needed in black and white, thanks. The hurt would have been worse if it wasn't clear.

Then she fucking puts in the one little thing that puts on the hurt I didn't need her to put on.

>Her: I'm Sorry


She did this over the phone to me at 12AM, I left the house and just drove and got back at 2:30AM

Did some drifts around the sharpest corners in town, drove through the city, drove through three different townships, did some more drifts and hooning 90MPH back home.

fuck this, once summer rolls around I'm going out and competing in some rally races I'm wasting my opportunity here.

[Chocofreak13]

playing initial D is both good race practice and a good way to clear your head. and one of the worst things a person can say in a situation like this is "i'm sorry", but most of the time that's a reflex since you just don't know what else to say.

just be thankful she didn't pull out the #1 worst thing she could have said: "can we still be friends?"

[Dr. Kraus]

"can we still be friends?"

my drive would have been much much different if she had said this, my 75 MPH through the Fort Pitt Tunnel would have probably been a 90-110MPH run through in the left lane.

I have no idea how this is going to go down on Monday but I guess we will see, probably just run it off as nothing really.

[Bella]

Holy crap, that sucks. People being dishonest about the kind of relationship they're seeking (i.e. making their intent clear; saying they want a friendship, romantic relationship, FWB situation, if they plan on the relationship being long-term, casual, etc.) is majorly rude and disrespectful, and anyone who leads somebody into a relationship without making their intent clear is very suspicious imo. I don't mean to be rude, but you're probably better off without a person who would do something like that.

(Before anyone screams "FRIENDZONE" at me, yeah, I do agree that friendzoning is a dumb concept; nobody is owed a relationship or sex, but people absolutely owe it to others to be clear what they want out of a relationship. That's basic social decency.)

[Chocofreak13]

i don't think friendzoning is a dumb concept if you make it clear to the other person. maybe it seems mean, but it's meaner to be vague about it. :\

[Nichi]

Exactly. TBH I hate the general dudebro culture surrounding the "friendzone" concept; like not being able to have sex with someone is a fate worse than death, and they'd rather cut all ties with someone they once considered a friend just because they aren't sexually interested in them >_<;

[Chocofreak13]

pent, those people are not actual people and don't deserve interaction. :3

[Nichi]

Indeed -w-

Why associate with douchebags when you can have Zoidberg?