Relationships

[Bella]

Seconding Kari's suggestion, it's always best to be up-front about your feelings and what you expect out of a relationship.

As somebody who has both asexual and pansexual tendencies I can also vouch it's difficult to decide upon a label. I generally go with "asexual" because it's more accurate to my current situation (considering I experience very limited sexual & romantic attraction and have only acted on my attraction toward one person in my whole life).

Also, Kari, good luck with everything. :>

[Chocofreak13]

@kodomo: i know how you feel, which is why i tend not to step forward until someone else does, too. (thankfully i have a pretty strong intuition about it, but that's mostly because i've had this happen so many times. >>;; )

however, if he actually DECLARED it at one point, and still makes eyes at you/sings about you/etc etc, perhaps you could just gently approach him, away from others, with something like "uh, do you, well, FEEL anything for me or whatever?" :\

@bells: thanks. i'm sort of playing it by ear. i just wish i could convince him to use the computer a little more, since it uses less of my minutes. but messaging me on his lunch break kinda means he HAS to text, i guess. ^^;;

EDIT: yaaay Steve's my boyfriend now

[winduko]

@Kari: He never openly said anything about it. For the past few years, all he's done is flirt, so my second-guessing kicks in so much. And I probably was the only one who heard the lyrics, and I heard my name over and over again.

I also thought it was done until a couple hours ago.

@Bella:  Honestly, the only one I wanted to potentially go after is the first friend I made by online means, but when I confessed, she rejected me, and I was perfectly fine with it, partly because I realized how bad it could really become. But you wouldn't know how often I fall for female peers who are kind to me. Earlier today, a girl, who I know is quite homophobic, gave me paper. I fall for her, but I knew it won't work, at least not now.

This kind of thing happens at least once a day.

[Chocofreak13]

you are such an adorable little yuri
puppy love crushes all over the place so cute

and if he hasn't OPENLY said anything, just ignore it till he does. don't give him any signals, and it'll likely die off.

[Nichi]

TBH, sometimes I ponder if I'm ever going to find anyone; given the only person to ever show any interest in me was this cougar at the hospital whom was old enough to be my mother, who had a son the exact same age as me. Just, no >_>;

[Chocofreak13]

that's creepy.

and all i can tell you is to hold out hope. coming here is REALLY going to help.

[Nichi]

Indeed. The sooner I can move, the better :\

[Chocofreak13]

the sooner you can move, the sooner i can start introducing you around the goth club.

[Nichi]

True that.

So, there's a coworker I have a very mild interest in; this being the one I mentioned that is like some strange mixture of myself and Bella. Nothing more serious than wanting to get to know her better, as she does seem like a nice person...and, when I was taking my last break yesterday, I did overhear her mention to her coworkers about how she's "always been a little gender-confused", which obviously has me curious; as she might be more like me than I previously thought.

The issue is, since she works in a different department than me, and I'm not sure which department that is, trying to figure out where to find her and also how to approach her without coming off as creepy, or seeming like I'm flirting when I'm not. Any advice?

[Cockleshell]

try to snag her on a rare occasion that you actually see her - don't seek her out. strike up casual conversation and mention things that you assume she relates to. allow yourself to act a bit more feminine than you usually do in public - allow her to see that you've oriented the same way she feels. don't bring up the fact that you overheard her say this. build a friendship with her. you say she's a mix of you and Bella - judging from what I know about both of you, i take that this woman is slightly withdrawn and very personal, but open to conversation if another person starts it. watch her body language. if she folds her arms or shifts her weight from side to side on her feet, she doesn't really want to talk. don't force it. (i know i'm starting to sound like a redpiller but women understand women)

[Bella]

@Cockle: S'not redpill-ish at all, that's reasonable advice.

@Pent: I don't really have a whole lot to add to Cockle's suggestions, since she covered just about everything I'd have suggested and then some.

[Nichi]

@Cocks: Thanks; I'll keep that in mind, if I ever encounter her when she's not busy :3

[Chocofreak13]

thirding this suggestion. also pay attention to subtle interest cues; for example, if you looked at me, you could tell from my jewelry that i like vintage stuff (pearls), alternative religion (pentagram, pagan pride bracelet, beads), and goth stuff. the quarter i wear around my neck is also a conversation starter. jewelry, tattoos, even her choice of ringtone can reveal volumes about what she likes.

[Nichi]

Indeed. Although, given I've mostly seen her in a work context and she never has her phone on her from what I can tell, kind of a blank slate in that regard. But, I could maybe figure it out

[Chocofreak13]

i was only saying that staying aware can lead to conversation starters. :0