Relationships

[Bella]

Thank you so much.  And yeah, from what I saw on Facebook that WAS a pretty sweet cosplay ... you may've broken time with the awesomeness of it alone.

It's really interesting that you know an asexuality awareness advocate... I imagine it's somewhat difficult to raise awareness of, just because asexuality isn't as well-established in the public sphere as some of the better-known minority orientations. But you're right, there's a huge range of diversity among asexuals, which makes it a difficult orientation to explain sometimes. Often, people who aren't educated about asexuality will claim that people can't be aces if they have a sex drive, are in sexual relationships or like sex - which is erroneous, since asexuality simply describes a lack of sexual attraction to others, not a lack of sex drive or revulsion toward sex.

I'm really not sure how many aces are like this, though. I remember seeing some surveys on AVEN regarding the romantic and sexual likes and dislikes of its various members, but I can't recall what the findings were at the moment.

[Krizonar]

over time, the most romantically experienced person here (me)

that's rather arguable, I also have vast relationship experience!

Speaking of which, I and a girl from my college are (slowly) experimenting. I didn't want to bring it up earlier, but now's a good a time as any. I honestly don't think it is going to work out that way for either of us, because both of us are friend material to each other, but we may find something that can propel us into a relationship. I though am not sure if I truly want a relationship or are just lonely, it seems to be the latter, even though she is a wonderful girl.

[Chocofreak13]

just like lipstick lesbians and aggressives are to the lesbian pool, there are multiple types of asexuals. after all, orientation culture is a very diverse one. you can't say that all gays are fairies, all lesbians are dykes, all bisexuals are sluts. all people are not created equal.

as for why i'm taking on more asexual tendencies, it might be because i'm looking for more romance than physical. it might be because every time i visit a particular friend of mine (with whom i have a complicated relationship; i love him, but what love means to him is up for speculation), he gets the urge to shove his tongue down my throat. while there was a time when this would have sent me jumping into his arms, nowadays the thought of it makes me cringe. it's not because of him, it's more because he's so pushy. in a way i feel bad, since the poor boy's like a cat in heat--horny damn near CONSTANTLY. (that's gotta hurt.) but all the same, i'm not ready for something like that anymore, and i don't know when i will be again. :\

also, sleepy has a facebook? where, where??

(@kriz: i believe i'm the most romantically experienced here. it's not to say that other people don't have experience too. but i believe i've been in the most relationships and done the most stuff. i don't want to detail it here, though. >>;; )

[SleepyD]

Thank you so much.  And yeah, from what I saw on Facebook that WAS a pretty sweet cosplay ... you may've broken time with the awesomeness of it alone.

It's really interesting that you know an asexuality awareness advocate... I imagine it's somewhat difficult to raise awareness of, just because asexuality isn't as well-established in the public sphere as some of the better-known minority orientations. But you're right, there's a huge range of diversity among asexuals, which makes it a difficult orientation to explain sometimes. Often, people who aren't educated about asexuality will claim that people can't be aces if they have a sex drive, are in sexual relationships or like sex - which is erroneous, since asexuality simply describes a lack of sexual attraction to others, not a lack of sex drive or revulsion toward sex.

I'm really not sure how many aces are like this, though. I remember seeing some surveys on AVEN regarding the romantic and sexual likes and dislikes of its various members, but I can't recall what the findings were at the moment.

Haha, thank you.

And yeah, asexual people run the whole gamut with regards to their view of sex. And yep chocos, the generalization stuff is also unfairly applied to nearly all orientations, some more than others.

as for why i'm taking on more asexual tendencies, it might be because i'm looking for more romance than physical. it might be because every time i visit a particular friend of mine (with whom i have a complicated relationship; i love him, but what love means to him is up for speculation), he gets the urge to shove his tongue down my throat. while there was a time when this would have sent me jumping into his arms, nowadays the thought of it makes me cringe. it's not because of him, it's more because he's so pushy. in a way i feel bad, since the poor boy's like a cat in heat--horny damn near CONSTANTLY. (that's gotta hurt.) but all the same, i'm not ready for something like that anymore, and i don't know when i will be again. :\

also, sleepy has a facebook? where, where??

Haha, yeah, guys get uncontrollably horny sometimes. Some have more control than others. I think I fall somewhere in the middle. I may not have ever been in a relationship, let alone a physical one, but I think I'd prefer a slow gradual buildup if I were to get physical with someone. And I think then, you can get the romance and physical aspects at the same time, yeah?

And check PMs. heh
(In other news, that's the first PM I've sent since 2007)

[Nichi]

@Sleepy: When it comes to guys being able to control their horny-ness, I feel I have very strong control over it. I don't really feel comfortable going into details, but all I'll say is that I've managed to keep from saying something very stupid on multiple occasions ^_^;;

I suppose what helped was getting in touch with my inner zen and becoming a panda apprentice -w-

[Bella]

I don't want to reveal too much personal information, but there's a reason Stew and I joke that he manages to out-asexual me despite being straight. (Maybe I'm just a really bad ace though, hah.)

[Chocofreak13]

@sleepyd: sweet, i'm the lucky recipient of a dusty old message! *doot-doot-de-doot-doot-doo*

tbh, i wouldn't even call it guys and control. out of the guys i've dated, he's by far the most randy. >>;

[NejinOniwa]

FUCKING TESTOSTERONE FUCKING SUCKS.


It makes me lose my hair and my level head.
FUCK TESTOSTERONE, REALLY.

[Chocofreak13]

you've gone bald? :0

and is it an imbalance, or are you just PARTICULARLY MANLY? :\

[NejinOniwa]

Lol. No, still as fabulously long-haired as ever, fear not. But though it seems I will avoid the worst of the brunt of hair loss that runs in my dad's side of the family, I still have the TOTAL TESTOSTERONE OVERDOSE that runs in it. Great for muscle growth and such, but gives you those triangular indents in the hairline AND DEEP.

But I guess I'll be fine. I'm a PARTICULARLY MANLY viking after all. ^ ^

[Nichi]

There actually doesn't seem to be a history of hair loss in either side of my family; as both my grandfathers still have a full head of hair. So, I should be fine :3

[Chocofreak13]

no hint of hair loss in the family. but going grey rather early seems to be a trait.
while most would see this as a curse, i see an opportunity: i can have blue hair without needing to bleach. -w-

[Bella]

@Kari:  I'm glad I'm not the only one who's looking forward to going grey because it will make hair-dying easier! Though my parents didn't start greying until well into their 40s, if memory serves right.

[SleepyD]

Ah. There's no balding on either side of my family, but the men on my dad's side have early graying of the hair. I have the occasional white hair of my own every so often. I don't think it'll ever get fully white until much MUCH later. I guess I'll just have that "salt n peppa" sort of hair in the years to come.

[Chocofreak13]

i once had a therapist who told me she had gone grey in her early 20's. she embraced it, and it looked alright on her. she was a bitch, so idc really.

my uncle went grey early on, though, so i might do the same depending on genetics. :\