Programming Construct/Practices -Tans

[svx]

Hey...  Hey, alright, now picture this:

This is what's in my head.  I was sitting around thinking, ...wait, let me quote this.

Whoa, man. Why aren't there any -tans for programming constructs and ideas?  Infinite-while-loop-tan.  Function-pointer-tan.  Don't-cast-void-tan.  Ehh, things like that?

And, eh.  I dunno what I'm getting at here, really.  I do realize that it's unlikely that The Universal -Tan Consortium has enough free -tans to address this issue, but... erm...

Hey. Hey, wouldn't it be fun to design some of them? Like that time Peter designed a power-suit while under the careful watch of the kidnappers who were forcing him to create a weapon... erm. Maybe that was Iron Man...

Anyway, let's generate some -tans.

Yeah!  Yeah, svx.  I'm down for this.

A'ight, so:

Spinlock-tan:  Her purpose is to patiently wait for freedom from the thread that has entrapped her.  She's got cat ears, long white hair, blue eyes, and she carries a broken lock-pick which she futilely attempts to earn her freedom with.  She hates threads (the captors that keep kidnapping her), and she hates being locked up.  But she hates being locked up in rooms that spin even more.  The locks always move, thwarting her already futile attempts at escaping -- those bastards are clever...  Ehh... She also goes "nyaa" a lot and looks really cute and svx is dating her.

Don't-cast-void-tan:  She's a witch. Wears witchy clothing, waves a wand around... Ehh... Something from Zero no Tsukaima?  But it's illegal for her to cast void.  I mean, it's not really illegal, but it's unacceptable.  Whenever she casts void, it makes debugging somewhat more difficult. Spinlock-tan often erroneously wonders if Don't-cast-void-tan is responsible for hiding code from the debugger which makes the locks in her rooms always move and spin and everything...

A'ight, you go next!  Some ideas are:

Function-pointer-tan
Don't-divide-zero-tan
rdtsc-isn't-random-enough-tan
...
Ehh...  I think I'm losing my mind.

[svx]

Heyyy...  My brother came up with a good idea for Don't-divide-zero-tan...

Don't-divide-zero-tan:  Kind of like Fey from Cowboy Bebop...  Everyone wants to do her but nobody can.  Or maybe Misa from Death Note? She kills everyone who tries.

[Paul]

Maybe Object-Oriented-Programming-tan?
Though the only thing I'm able to come up with character-wise now is that she'll refuse to interact with you unless you know the proper methods ^.^

[Dr. Kraus]

wait, can we make this simple?

How about:
Java-tan
C++-tan
Python-tan
etc.

Then we put:
Object-Oriented-Programming-tan
Function-pointer-tan
Don't-divide-zero-tan
rdtsc-isn't-random-enough-tan
etc.

under the Java, Python, C++, etc. houses?

Will this work?

Just throwing it out there!

[svx]

The important thing is that these OS-tans have cat ears

That is paramount

Magnanimous!

[Dr. Kraus]

The important thing is that these OS-tans have cat ears

Agreed, there will be no argument here!