death

[DrizzCat]

Ok, now you sound like A  Former Room mate of mine.  He was Creepy as hell, and Wanted to Build a Android to meet all his sexual needs. Hell he even had Blue Prints of it, and had most of the Parts for the physical contruction priced.

[panda]

sexual needs are part of humanity. its sick.

[DrizzCat]

I honestly can't think of a response to that.  I guess I enjoy my Humanity too much

[panda]

Why do you enjoy your humanity?

[DrizzCat]

Because it lets me know I'm alive, Sure we all have Pain in our Lives.  But the Pain allows us to see the Joy when it happens.  and With out Joy we wouldn't know pain.  The Contrasts are what make life Intresting.  Have you every Enjoyed something simple, such as a Sunrise with a Loved one?
Or Mourned the Death of a Loved one?  Both are just different sides of the same coin.

[panda]

a Sunrise with a Loved one?
Or Mourned the Death of a Loved one?

Love is a emotion that is part of humanity, I've tried to sever humanity off from me. I've never really been attached to any one.

[DrizzCat]

That will change with time.  I was like that once

[Ayromek]

I used to say the same things, Panda - and worse than just saying them, I believed them.  Over time, those beliefs became more and more corrupt, to the point that my disgust for Humanity was replaced with an all-out hatred for it.  That hatred drove me to acts of unspeakable cruelty and malice towards the people around me...and in the end it almost cost me my own life and the life of seventy-nine other people.

Panda, you need to stop trying to justify your behavior.  You are sick, and your life is going to continue being miserable until you work up the resolve to do something about it.

[panda]

I never said I was miserable. And I'm not sick, I'm sick from your point of view. But don't get me wrong, as thought I disslike humanity, I respect the people who like it.

[DrizzCat]

Ayromek, Panda doesn't seem sick to me, Just in need of someone who will Love and care for him.  He needs Time to find what he wants out of life.  Patience can do good things.

[panda]

Your rare, most people think I'm sick.

[DrizzCat]

Nothing wrong with a Healthy distaine for Life, that is what allows Great leaders to make some of the Choices they have to make.  But knowing when you have gone to far over that line is the tricky part

[panda]

It makes me uncomfterable, people that don't think I'm sick.

I hate my self. I hate this body, its fat, too big, too weak. I hate this human body.

Then agian, this might be my humanity crying for help.

[DrizzCat]

thats what it sounds like.  Maybe Exercise Might help you improve your self image?

[panda]

exercise won't do any thing except get rid of fat. I'm 6'2" and one of the strongest people in my age group.